Page 41 of Blood Moon
There were two open seats on the couch—well, just barely. It was beside a couple that was tangled together, adrift in a world of their own. The sight didn’t bother me as much as it normally would have.
In front of us, Abi and Naomi sat before a hookah pipe, smoke rings chasing each other back and forth.
“I’m really happy we’re roommates,” Stevie started, easing into the couch. “I know my practice schedule is chaotic, but I enjoy being around you, even when you keep to yourself. You’re good-natured, Mira, and we need more people like you in the world.”
I looked down, surveyed her hands. Short, white nails against deep brown skin. Thin gold bands, turquoise. The distraction gave me time to deflect. If Stevie really knew the depths of my soul, would she still regard me as a good person?
I was aware of my flightiness, the spaced-out glare I wore too often. The considerable number of times I’d visualized walking off the edge of a bridge and free-falling into thick fog—to be alone, leave my worries behind. It didn’t matter how much I wanted to do the right thing, how much I wanted to stand up for injustice; there was a metronome within me that pulsed off-time. I didn’t know why that was. I chalked it up to my selfish nature.
Even though she’d listen to every word I said, I didn’t convey any of that to Stevie. It seemed immoral. Instead, I said earnestly, “You’re so much of what I aspire to be, and I’m incredibly thankful we’re rooming together.”
Her bottom lip protruded while she held a hand to her chest. “Oh, my fragile beating heart,” she said, her words slurring a bit, and I laughed. She squeezed my hand, thanked me, and hurried to change the subject. “What were you doing on the back porch?”
I slid my hands down my face and stifled a groan. The memory clung to me like static, folding in my gut. It would be impossible for me to forget. That kiss would pester me for eternity.
Stevie poked me. “You can’t lie,” she said, and I groaned again. “I saw Julian follow you out there.”
“We kissed,” I admitted.
“Again?”
“No … we never did before. The closet was a waste,” I said, but not completely. The only good thing to come from it was a promise for the truth.
For a long while, Stevie was wordless, and the silence made me uncomfortable. She stared, face frozen in awe before she declared, “Youarein love.”
“I’m not. Trust me.” I sighed. A kiss was a kiss, but at the thought, my throat tightened. Evenlovecouldn’t convince Rena to stay. It was why I’d been hesitant about getting too close to anyone when there was a possibility that it could end in a tragedy. My life was full of them these days.
Stevie nudged me gently, made an annoyed sound. “Butlookat him.” She pointed across the room. Julian sat on the edge of a wooden end table; his shoulders slouched as he held a bottle of water in his hand. “He looks like he’s made of magic.”
Julian grinned on cue, as if he’d heard our exchange. It was a simple gesture, but it made everything inside me quake. He searched the crowd until his eyes found mine. It sent a stutter to my chest.
“He does,” I whispered, staring back at him, and he smiled again.
Everything after that was a haze. The drinks kept coming, and in a sudden stillness, I heard a whisper from a voice that sounded familiar, warning me to keep my guard up.Everything is a sign. Everything is a warning. Trust your instincts.
But all I saw were my friends smiling around me as we drank and danced and laughed into the wee hours of the night.
We bumped into bodies while we whirled in circles, holding onto each other like links.
Each blink was a flash of my life.
Naomi and I rushing into the bathroom to pee.We ran into the threshold on the way in, tripping in space. Naomi refused to wait for me to finish, so she went in the tub, and then she turned the water on to wash it away. I laughed, and she tried to shush me, telling me I was too loud, too much. But I couldn’t help myself, and I continued to cackle as we fixed our smeared makeup in the mirror.
Stevie teaching me a new dance.My timing was horrid. Whenever I moved my hips, I crashed into someone, causing a commotion until I ran away, pretending as if it had never happened. Stevie went running after me.
Abi and I rolling on the floor in laughter.We were red eyes and dry throats, and I wiped the tears from her face with my thumb, and she did the same. We couldn’t recall what was so funny. Just that she declared she loved me as we lay on ash and cups and the tips of people’s shoes.
Em throwing herself on top of us.An idea she considered brilliant until it knocked several people down. So many of us were tangled on the rug, limbs knotted, watching as the lights cast images on the ceiling while we giggled.
I yearned to stay etched in these moments, to cast a deal with Time, proclaim that I’d never belonged anywhere more than here, than now. For although I’d only known these girls fleetingly, already they were mine. And I was theirs.
The night was an endless, tilting thing, but it stopped spinning the moment I found myself weightless and drifting off to sleep against Julian’s chest while he carried me from the house to a car. There was a safeness in his arms, his embrace filling a hole inside me, whispering to me that this was what serenity felt like.
Didn’t know how he got me, or why, but when he looked at me, I saw how the moon shone behind him like a halo. His features softened into a feeling I didn’t have a word for,orphicperhaps. The flecks of green in his amber eyes shimmered.Everything is a sign. Everything is a warning,the voice inside me said again.
Then the smell of my dorm room. The cool feeling of my pillow against my face. The heavy weight of my pendant resting close to my heart. Blankets tucked around me. A blur of Julian’s face as he turned out the lamp beside my bed. In my drunkenness, he whispered something.
What was it he’d said?
