Page 15 of Blood Moon
In my younger years, I’d spent so much time watching Rena write long letters to friends who lived far away from Kansas. Though her face remained stoic, I saw how she really felt on page by catching glimpses of every few words. She missed these people, whoever they were, and they had believed in the art of letter-writing just as much as she had.
And now it was me. She’d written tome. I was too afraid to move, to breathe, to think. Afraid that if I did, everything before me would vanish. My vision blurred and a warmth spread in my cheeks as I held the envelope to my face to make sure I was truly seeing what I was seeing.
My mother, who’d been gone for five years, was alive …
She was alive, and this was the first sign of her since she’d left. She knew of me, she’d written to me, and somehow, she knew how to find me. There was a line of thoughts swirling in my head until I was startled by an unfamiliar voice that brought me back to reality.
“You finding everything okay?” they asked, and I wiped away a tear. It was an older white man who had a gold name tag pinned beneath the collar of his shirt. Someone on the staff. He stood a few feet away, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, timidly moving forward.
I shut the mailbox and pressed the envelope close to my chest. “I’m fine. Thanks,” I said, and before he could ask again, I hurried past him and left the building.
I wanted to break into a run once I hit the Campus Center, but something like that seemed too alarming. My eyes continued to water as I chased the pavement before me, moving as quickly as I could between people and avoiding eye contact until I saw Hester Hall.
There was no telling where my roommate was or where my new friends were; all I knew was that I needed to open this letter immediately.
Inside, there wasn’t time to remove my shoes or hang up my bag. I dropped my belongings and strode toward my bed with a lump in my throat as I held the envelope to the light, noticing there was something more than just a letter waiting for me inside.
Funny enough, it wasn’t even my birthday. It wouldn’t be for a few months—not that I’d ever heard from Rena then—but I had always hoped. Always waited. Always pretended that if she were alive, she’d send me a handwritten note in the same way she’d sent her friends letters over the years. When the mailbox remained void of her, I summed it up to my lack of importance—that she’d forgotten about me and Bobby—and that, perhaps, she wanted it to stay that way indefinitely.
Until today …
Until this very earth-shattering moment …
My stomach felt like it was clenched into a fist, and my fingers trembled as I flipped the envelope over, peeled back the seal, and opened the flap.
With a breath, I pulled out the letter and read the first line:
My dearest Mirabella,
That was all it took to bring back the swelling in my eyes, to make my bones feel like goop. I could no longer stand because of it. I nearly fell into a sitting position on my bed, clenched my fist to the curve of my mouth as I held the paper with a firm grasp.
Itw was really her …
I’m so proud of you and all your accomplishments. There’s never a day that passes where I’m not thinking of you.
You are my beginning and my ending, and as nature would have it, we’ll always be a part of each other. Always.
Though I want to see you, as things are currently, I’m unable to come to you right now, but I promise, I’m trying very hard to find a secure way to bring us together. There are many matters you and your father need to know … many of which I cannot detail in this letter.
You may already be well aware of this now, and if not now, soon, but the world isn’t how it appears. Don’t be deceived by those who are close to you, even if they seem as though they may be on your side. Everything is a sign. Everything is a warning. Trust your instincts. And above all else, please, for the love of gods, be safe.
Enclosed is a family heirloom. It will act as a ward; it will protect you since I cannot. Wear it and don’t let it out of your sight. Undoubtedly, it has always been yours, Mirabella.
Remember:
More than the stars in the sky …
More than the air in the world …
More than the life I live …
that’s how much I love you.
Everything I’ve done has been for you, for your father. I swear it on my life.
Amor vincit omnia,
Mama
