Page 70 of Oath of Betrayal
‘Ormapologised? For what?’
‘For being a stubborn arsehole who wanted to keep me locked away without even telling me why? I advise you to not follow his example … in being an arsehole, that is.’ I blinked in surprise, suddenly understanding Orm’s question about Anchoring her.
I didn’t remember moving, but the next moment, I was on my knee in front of Annika, my hands wrapped around thehairbrush, easing it from her grip as I pressed my lips to her wrist. She glanced at me, taken aback by my actions. Before she could say anything, I stood up, trailing my fingers through her hair and gently brushing her unruly tresses.
When our eyes met in the mirror, Ani smiled a little. ‘Arno enjoyed brushing my hair—although he kept threatening to shave me bald if I continued forgetting to look after it,’ she said with a chuckle. ‘I remember laughing at that because, despite his threats, he was always gentle with me.’
Jealousy over her dead lover flashed through me, and my fingers tightened in her strands. ‘I know Orm told you that we used the geas. Why aren’t you angry?’ I asked, just to avoid hearing that Arno was more to her than I would ever be.
‘I wanted to be—angry. I wanted to blame Orm and you for everything that happened. I wanted to throw it in your faces and curse you because he had used the geas when I was at my weakest, but … then I thought, what would I have done? What else couldhedo? Let me die when he thought I was the last hope of stopping the Lich King?’ The smile she gave me was sad.
‘It would be like blaming the sky for rain or a wolf for devouring its prey. Some things are inevitable. I am who I am, and Orm did what his honour and duty told him to do.’ I hadn’t expected that. Ani’s understanding words, tinged with sadness as they were, made my quest for revenge feel reckless and childish.
‘Did you forgive him?’
‘Forgive him for what? Using the geas to save my life? Yes. Refusing to take me on patrol, locking me in the castle, and excluding me from any meaningful plans because he was afraid some bogus enemy might kidnap me? No. Just as I don’t forgive you for yelling at me in front of everyone, even if you had a reason.
She glanced at me. ‘However, … I can take you as my lady’s maid; and maybe after three years of service, you might be allowed to redeem yourself.’ I exhaled with relief at hearing her tease.Thiswas my Ani, and I couldn’t resist the temptation to tease her back just to coax the smile out a little more.
‘I’d willingly take on the role. Especially if it meant I get to see you half naked and tend to youreveryneed.’ I grinned as Ani rolled her eyes.
‘Agnes is more than adequate at the job. Go now and let me sleep. It’s been a hard day, and some arsehole dark fae ordered me to his workshop before dawn.’
I took a strand of her hair, twisting it in my fingers, playing with it to prolong the moment. ‘Orm told me you want to have your past feelings back. I can do it, but is that truly what you want? The pain and sorrow of losing your Anchors was a terrible torment to your soul.’ Her hair slid through my fingers like liquid silk, and I waited patiently, letting her gather her thoughts.
‘I want it all back. I know I’m calmer and less troubled now, but those feelings made me who I am, and the men who gave their lives so I could live deserve to be loved, not just remembered,’ she whispered.
Pain blossomed in my chest, taking my breath away. How I wanted someone to love me like that, to be willing to go through hardship and pain because they thought I was worth it.
‘So be it,’ I yielded, putting the brush aside and sliding my fingers to her temples. Ani looked at me and then closed her eyes, showing me much more trust than I deserved. ‘Thank you, Ari,’ I heard her whisper before I wove the glyph. My fingers danced over her skin, creating patterns that shone like silver while I hummed the words of the incantation.
Annika’s breath hastened before she regained control. I saw her inhale slowly, then release her breath each time the pulse ofmy magic eased the knot I had created in her mind. It would be easier to reverse the spell all at once, but timing the return of her emotions was a slow process, and I felt beads of sweat blossom on her forehead while I undid my spell.
Every now and again, Ani bit her lip, and I knew she was in pain, but not once did she ask me to stop. I could feel echoes of her memories resurfacing, and with them, the feelings of joy, love, and sorrow. Before it could reach her conscious mind, I built a dam, allowing only a trickle of those emotions to pass through.
When I was done, Ani slumped in the chair as if someone had cut the strings holding her up. Acting on instinct, I scooped her up in my arms and carried her to bed. ‘Fuck, that was intense,’ she mumbled, pushing her face into the crook of my shoulder.
I beamed. As ridiculous as it was, hearing her curse assured me she was okay and made me happy. ‘Does this mean I’m forgiven?’ I asked, placing her on the bed.
‘No, but you are paving your way to atonement. I’m still considering taking you on as my lady’s maid.’
‘Annika Diavellar, you will do no such thing,’ I pretended to frown, assuming a look of righteous indignation, and she burst into laughter.
‘Of course I would, and you’d enjoy every second.’ She grinned at me, and when I tried pulling away, she grasped my hand. ‘Ari … it will be all right. Yes?’
Annika was afraid, but I didn’t have any way to offer her comfort. Instead, I lifted her hand, bringing it to my lips. ‘I don’t know. I hope it will. Your feelings will come gradually, but when they come, you will feel them as intensely as the first time. I will help as much as I can, but it will be a difficult process.’
I didn’t know what she saw in my eyes, but Ani placed her other hand on my cheek. ‘It’s all right. I’m as strong as an ox, and I will survive this. Besides, I have Vahin if things become toomuch.’ Her pupils widened suddenly, her face turning as white as the linen she rested on. ‘Vahin? Will he feel it too?’
‘I don’t know. I know nothing about Anchoring dragons. I’m sorry, Ani.’ My lack of knowledge shamed me, but no matter how much I had searched, there were no records of dragons bonding outside the of dragon rider bloodlines. I was walking blind.
‘I don’t want to hurt him. I … Oh gods …’ I saw the shine of tears in her eyes, and I pulled her towards me, wrapping my arms around her and rocking her gently.
‘Vahin is a powerful dragon. He was able to withstand a swarm of spectre. He will be fine. I promise.’ I held her close to me, letting the warmth of her body seep through my clothes while her tears stained my shirt. She was struggling with her emotions while I basked in her touch, enjoying it without shame.
I didn’t know how, but Annika was the end of my suffering, with whom I could breathe easily without the fear of daggers piercing my skin each time I took a lungful of air. Suddenly, I understood Orm and his need to keep her sheltered and hidden.
Dark Mother, this one time, have mercy on your lost child. Don’t take her away from me,I prayed, holding my Domina until her quiet tears dried and she pulled away. ‘Thank you for this. Today … it was a lot, seeing Orm almost eaten by an olgoi worm, being shouted at by the men I care for, and this. I think I needed a good cry.’
