Page 19 of Fangs and Family
‘So it was just a dream,’ I said to my reflection, but the pale woman with dark shadows marring her eyes and tense, worn-out expression didn’t look convinced.Perfect, I’m talking to a fucking mirror,I thought before turning away and dragging myself back to bed.
The following days passed quickly. I’d taken every long shift, so when I came home, I ate ready meals, fell into bed exhausted and slept, thankfully, without nightmares.
I didn’t give up on trying to find Pawel, but my worry for him eased a little after meeting with Kamil, who commented that if my brother was so good at hiding, maybe it was better if he stayed hidden and that I’d probably cause more problems if I found him.
It didn’t sit well with me at first, but the more time that passed, the more tired I felt, and the only option left for finding Pawel was to accept Adam’s proposal in order to access his network.
‘Not happening,’ I said to myself because, since the nightmare, the thought of a vampire biting me and commanding my body became unbearable. I trusted Adam, but even with him, I could not allow myself to be helpless. I’d fought so hard to have total control over my life, to not feel like a trashed, used toy when my heart ached for a few kind words. The idea that a simple bite could reduce me to feeling like one terrified me.
Today was Sunday, the first day off I’d taken since this nightmare had started, though not by choice. Sara had taken it upon herself to remove my name from the roster and told me not to argue. I still did, but not too strongly and accepted my fate with only a short grumble. In fact, today, I would typically ride with my local biker club.
I loved the time spent with the wind in my hair and a coarse joke on my lips unburdened by the day-to-day troubles, letting the open road ease my worries, but today, I dreaded it. My mind was torturing me with guilt at being unwilling to sacrifice my time and a small amount of my blood for my brother’s safety. I could just stay home, but being locked behind four concrete walls was no better, leaving me with too much time to dwell on those negative thoughts.
I went to the kitchen to make myself a meal and stared at the inside of the empty fridge with an idea slowly forming in my head. My house was a mess, but I hadn’t had the time or energy to clean it. My dirty clothes and dishes rose high in separate piles, and my fridge contained only two bottles of beer. If I was going to put my life back on track, I had to start with shopping and cleaning, and that should keep me sufficiently busy to not brood over things that were, for the moment, out of my control.
I squeezed my butt into a pair of skinny jeans and threw on a fluffy, oversized turtleneck sweater. This, together with a windproof coat and high boots, would be enough to protect me from the unpredictable weather of early spring. The Baltic Sea was capricious this time of the year, and you never knew what mood it would be in. It might bring beautiful sunshine, rolling fog or sudden hail that produced patches of black ice that gave me so many patients.
This time, however, it looked like the gods favoured me because the sun was shining, and I took my time going to the local farmers’ market, determined to start with buying fresh produce for a healthy diet. I’d lost so much weight lately that my pale face could easily pass as a skeleton cosplay at a costume party.
I was halfway through picking the best celeriac1 from the stall when my phone rang. I must have given an entertaining performance juggling overgrown vegetables in one hand whilst trying to dig my phone from the tiny back pocket of my jeans before dropping them both in a muddy puddle full of slime and dirt.
‘Oh, for fuck’s sake.’ I cursed, provoking a few snickers, but as I bent to pick up my electronic device before it succumbed to its watery grave, a man’s hand appeared in my view.
‘Let me help you, ma’am.’ He said, picking up my phone and, after checking the screen, wiping it on his cashmere coat before handing it back. ‘You’ll have to be more careful if you don’t want to lose it.’ He said as I stared, aghast, at the muddy stain my phone left on his clothes.Why would anyone do that to such an expensive garment?If I could afford a cashmere overcoat, no one would be allowed to approach me without washing and disinfecting their hands at least three times.
‘You’re not the sharpest tool in the shed, are you?’ I heard myself saying, and the man’s polite expression turned into a grimace. ‘I mean, thank you very much, but it was unnecessary, and I’m afraid your coat now needs to go straight to the dry cleaners.’ I said, only slightly embarrassed by my previous comment.
‘That won’t be a problem,’ he answered, giving me an unfriendly glare, then, after nodding his head, disappearing into the crowd. I rubbed my neck under the woolly collar, wondering how he could withstand the heat of the spring sun that seemed to take pleasure in pretending to be high summer. I already regretted my own fashion choices, and the fact he also wore a fedora and a scarf meant he must be overheating in this weather.
I glanced at my phone. The notification from the call still flashed on the screen but was coded as private, so I put it back in my pocket. It was likely another scam telling me I was involved in a car crash or trying to sell me solar panels. I picked up the rest of the vegetables and was on my way to the homemade liquor stall when my phone rang again, and another withheld number alert flashed on the screen.
‘Look, I’m not buying anything, so this is me politely asking you to bugger off,’ I said, but before I hit disconnect, the voice on the other side made my heart stutter.
‘No, sis, wait! We need to talk. Nina, please!’ When I heard Pawel’s voice, I almost dropped the phone for a second time. He was alive, and I stood in the middle of the market, trying not to burst into tears.
‘Pawel? Where the hell are you? Come to my house, we can talk. I know shit happened, but I’ll help you,’ I said when I could control myself enough to talk.
‘I can’t, sis. I’m risking enough phoning you, but if something happens to me… I’m sorry for everything. I just want you to know I love you and that I’m so sorry. Be careful. He’ll send his men to watch you… fuck… I’m sorry. He knows you’re my sister. Don’t trust strangers. Go to Sara, her man. He won’t mess with that bastard. I don’t have much time, but I wanted to tell you that before I have to go.’
‘No, wait! I have someone who can protect you. Pawel, meet me in our old playground. Do you remember where? Please, I’ll meet you there, and my friend, he can take on anyone, I promise. Just trust me.’
‘I – I don’t know, I’m so tired, Nina, so very tired. I love you, sis,’ he said, sounding just like the boy I knew before the life he led turned him into a crook. My heart was breaking for him, but before I could reply, I realised I was listening to the silence of a disconnected call.
Dazed, I stood in the middle of the path, gasping for breath as my mind raced, even as I struggled to not fall to my knees.He’s alive.I felt a tremendous sense of relief and worry that tightened around my heart like an iron band. Nothing mattered now except for keeping him that way. His past actions be damned, he was my brother. I couldn’t live with myself if I left him to face this problem alone. I knew the fate his future held if his enemies caught him, so taking a deep breath to calm my racing heart, I looked at the phone and found Adam’s number.
‘Nina?’ The smug pleasure in his voice didn’t bother me this time.
I would suffer either way. Whether it was losing my brother, butchered by thugs, or losing my heart when Adam eventually broke it, I couldn’t win this, so I cut my losses. The vampire would get what he wanted, even if it cost me all I had.
‘I agree to your conditions. Every single one of them. Meet me at the Green Market and bring weapons. We are going to meet my brother.’
‘Where? Are you safe where you are?’ His voice lost its polished timbre, hardening into something truly frightening.
‘I’ll tell you when you pick me up. I’m not sure, but there might be someone watching me. Just say you’ll help me, please, and I’ll be your blood whore for as long as you want,’ I said. The painful resolve hardened inside my mind with each passing minute.
‘I would never treat you like a whore, Nina. Find the most crowded area in the market and wait for me there. Don’t move, and don’t let anyone lure you away. If anyone arrives claiming I sent them, they will be lying. Everything will be alright, sweetheart, just wait for me.’
He disconnected, and I walked to the middle of the square, sitting on one of the benches provided for those eating from the food trucks. I felt numb inside. I’d just sold myself for my brother’s life, but everything felt so surreal. My mind collapsed as if I had stepped out of the flow of time.
