Page 32 of Snow's Charming
I pressed a hand to my chest, trying to calm my own racing heart. Why was it only Sylus who made me feel this intensely with just a kiss? Such a gentleman. Kind, caring, attentive, filled with compassion and conviction for ruling over his pack, and above all, he’s protected me since the first day I met him. The only man I’d ever met with the same ideals was my father, and I loved him, so maybe I was falling in love with Sylus.
Jackie was now in the past. My father was back in my life. All was good. It was the first time I’d felt I could relax since Dad got sick. Still, something was off. I tried to shake the stupid thought, figuring it was just me being silly while remembering all the times I’d waited for the proverbial shoe Jackie always dropped in my lap. I didn’t want to go there right now. Tonight I wanted to celebrate the win, to rest, and above all, to be with Sylus at this moment.
His hands were fumbling with the button and zipper of my jeans. The warmth of his hands made me swoon all over again as he pulled the fabric down my waist, thighs, and calves. He took a breath before speaking again.
“Hold on to my shoulders, sweetie, and step out of your jeans.”
I did as he asked, and as he stood, I wrapped my thumbs and forefingers around my aquamarine panties, more than ready to let him see me naked again. But before I could pull them down and shimmy out of them, he palmed both of my hands.
“No, baby. Keep them and your bra on. Like I said, I promised myself I would be a perfect gentleman. Since I kissed you, I’m not doing all that well on my promise.”
“But I?”
“Baby, please? I?”
He let out a breath and then shook his head.
“No. I have to tell you this. It’s important.”
“What is it?”
I placed some distance between us by palming his shoulders. I didn’t want to, but if he was about to reject me, I needed the distance to save a little face.
“Princess, this is gonna sound weird, but I’ve never had sex. I wanted to wait for you, baby. No one in the pack could compare to you. So, I kept myself in check for you. And now that I have you here, all I want is for our first time to be special. And with you half asleep and your father in the house, that isn’t exactly screaming special to me.”
He pressed his head against mine again and took in a few breaths before kissing my nose.
“Wait…you’re a virgin, too?”
His gaze went from serious to a dark, sexy thing in 60 seconds flat.
“I mean, I hoped beyond hope that we’d be eachother’s firsts, but since you didn’t know about me, I figured you’d already had sex. Betrothed wait for each other in the pack, but our relationship was different, Sesi, and…”
He stopped talking the minute I started panting and gasping for air. My vision became a tunnel. I’d just lied to him. I didn’t mean to, but I did. Technically, the rape counted, so I wasn’t actually a virgin. I hadn’t saved myself for him, yet he did for me. The idea was beautiful and torturous all at once.
“Baby?”
He clutched my shoulders like a lifeline.
“Baby, breathe. In. Out. With me, baby.”
I forced myself to stop the panic attack long enough to speak. I had to apologize and tell him the truth, even though he had assumed something had happened to me when we talked the other night. But enough was enough. If he wanted to be my everything, I had to tell him the truth.
“I was raped. I’m sorry, Sylus—I shouldn’t have lied.”
He placed his index finger on my lips, stopping me from talking.
“Do. Not. Blame. Yourself. Princess, the monster that did that?—”
I stopped him now with a single index finger to his lips.
“The water is getting cold.” I said as I guided him to the tub.
I got in while he sat on the ledge, filling the meshsponge with what I assumed was his favorite scent. Surprisingly, it was mine too—The Moon and Stars. He rubbed small circles on my back. I took a breath, steadying myself before I began the one story I told no one.
“I don’t blame myself. Well, most of the time anyway.”
He stiffened at my frankness. The circles he was drawing on my back grew smaller.
