Page 44 of The Earl's Wrangler
“That would have to be possible, and I’m sure there are plenty of ladies in the village who would be happy to come in and help you.”
Randall sighed.“Yes.But I have to find one who isn’t going to splash my business all over town.”That was always the problem: people talked.“In a small community like this, not all that much happens, and I’m a private person.I don’t want to be the subject of gossip, and I want to be able to lead the life I want….”He drew Sawyer to him.“I want to have a life with the people I care about, and I want that life to be ours.Yours and mine.Not the town’s or anyone else’s.”
“Then you need to make it that way.”
“No,weneed to do that.It needs to be something you and I figure out.”
And just like that, Sawyer’s heart raced and he felt warm all over.He wondered if Randall could be serious.They had known each other less than a month, and yet Sawyer had never felt so at ease and so settled in his own skin.Yet he still wondered if this was something that was going to last.God, he hoped it did.
Chapter 16
SHIT, MAYBEhe’d made too much of a leap and he should have kept quiet and tried to beat around the bush some more in order to prepare Sawyer for what he’d been thinking.
“You want me to stay here?”
“Yes, I do.”
Sawyer seemed speechless.“But what will I do?All I know is ranch work, and I can’t do any of that here.You have two horses, and the farmers on your land manage all your livestock.What am I supposed to do, sit around and watch them?I can’t do that.I have to keep myself busy, and the ranch is my home.”
Randall nodded.He should have known this was a lot more to ask and needed more planning than just bringing up the idea and hoping Sawyer would fall in love with it in an instant.He had a life back in Wyoming, and Randall was asking him to give it up and move here to be with him.Hell, he really was as self-centered as his father.“There are lots of things you can do.”
“Yeah, but all of them involve me staying here and leaving the ranch.”
Randall lowered his gaze.“I know that.But I can’t leave this place.I’m just starting to gain these people’s trust, and I have so much work to do here.There are a ton of plans to make for how to manage the village and make things right with the people who rent from me.And it’s not only what I’m going to do with the cottages, but I have to work out how to pay for all of it.”That kept him up at night.“This house is going to need a new roof, and….”Randall felt the weight he’d tried for years to run away from slip fully onto his shoulders, and it wasn’t going anywhere.“I can’t do it alone.”
“So you want me to stay and do it for you?”Sawyer asked.He didn’t seem angry, but his voice was tinged with hurt.
“No.I don’t want anyone to do it for me.I was hoping you’d stay and do itwithme.I know I can’t run away from this anymore.I have to stay here and be responsible for my family legacy.For years, I used the trappings that came with all this to try to escape.I spent most of my time in London and let the people I hired manage things here, and they’ve done a great job.But they aren’t me.And while they can corral tourists and make sure the operations run smoothly, they can’t ensure that I do right by the people who live on my land.Only I can do that.”He sighed.
“Is that why you came to Wyoming?So you could find someone the way George had?”
Randall shook his head.“I didn’t want to come at all.You remember—I was a complete asshole.I didn’t want to be there.All I wanted to do was stay in my own little fantasy bubble and have things the way I wanted them.But I lost a bet to Alan, and then a certain cowboy with the brightest eyes and an attitude as tough as my own made me look at things differently.He didn’t take any of my crap and had me mucking out stalls.”Randall couldn’t help smiling.“I bet if you shared that story in the pub, you wouldn’t ever have to buy yourself another beer ever again.”
“And you want me to stay?”
Randall scooted closer to Sawyer.“Losing that bet was the best thing that ever happened to me.It forced me to look at my life and the person I’d become.I was a real shitheel, and now I think I can see where I should be.And who I want to be here with me.Sawyer, I don’t want you here to do what I should have done.I can get the work in the village completed.I can figure out the money and how to raise more of it.I know I can do all that if I have to.I’d figure it all out eventually.What I want is you here with me.That I know.I never saw myself here.This place, these rooms… they never felt like home to me.”
“Do they now?”Sawyer asked, and Randall shrugged as he looked around.
“You feel like home to me.”And just like that, everything in Randall’s mind, all the years of searching and wondering if he would ever fit in anywhere, just settled right into place.He had the answer, and it was right here in front of him.
“I do?”
“I’ve lived part of my life in this house and on this land.There are places here that I love, but none of it felt like it was truly mine—and it really isn’t.I’m just a caretaker of this estate, someone tasked with seeing it on to the next generation.”
“But it is yours,” Sawyer told him.“All of this, every painting and each and every stone, belongs to you, and this is your home.”
“Everything may belong to me, as you say, but none of it feels like a home.”He swallowed hard and tried to get Sawyer to understand how he felt.“If you and I were to go to London and stay there, then as long as you were with me, I’d feel like I was home.”Randall leaned forward, his gaze locking on Sawyer’s.“The ranch in Wyoming felt more like a home than I ever felt here, and I know now it was because you were there.It doesn’t matter where we live.I feel at home… with you.”He moved closer.“But I suppose the question I have to ask is if you think you could feel at home with me?”
Sawyer smiled.“I guess I could get used to living in a mansion and on an estate, but what am I going to do?I can’t just stay here and do nothing, and I’m a guest here.It isn’t like I can stay here forever.I’m assuming there are a bunch of laws about that sort of thing.”
“There are, but all of that can be figured out.What I think is more important to ask is… what do you want to do?This is a big estate.Alan manages the livestock for George, and he sees to the land on his estate.In a way, he acts as the estate steward.”
“I don’t want to do that.Alan was always really good at managing the ranch.That isn’t my skill.”
“Then why don’t you oversee the repairs and upgrades that need to be made?It’s a big job, and you know a lot about making repairs and fixing things.”
“I don’t want to be the estate handyman,” Sawyer told him, and Randall agreed.
