Page 65 of Keep My Heart
She looks up at me. ‘I know.’
‘It’s just that seeing you again brought up old feelings. And spending time with you has made those feelings even stronger. Knowing that, I shouldn’t have taken things as far as I did.’
‘We both played a part in that. I liked what we were doing. I just wanted it to be real.’
‘I get that, and I never should’ve suggested the fake dating thing.’ I take her hand. ‘Being with you has never felt fake. I tried to keep my feelings out of it, but I couldn’t. There’s just something about you .?.?. about us.’
‘I agree.’ She smiles. ‘So what are you saying?’
‘I’m saying you need to be with someone who can give you what you want. Someone you can have a future with. I don’t want to get in the way of that. When I get back to New York, I want us to remain friends, but if you decide that won’t work, I’ll understand.’
Saying this to her is killing me. I want to tell her I want this, that I want her more than anything, but why would I tell her that if it can’t happen? Nash’s advice that I need to put in the effort if I really want to be with her is true if we lived in the same town, but we don’t. I can’t date a girl who lives thousands of miles away. It just won’t work.
Chapter 15
Lyndsay
Nick wants me to find someone else. My heart broke when he said it because I thought he was going to tell me he wanted us to date for real. And I was going to agree with him. It’s what I’d decided after spending all day thinking about it.
People date long distance all the time. Nick and I could at least try to make it work. We could talk on the phone, do video chats, and if things were going well, maybe I’d move to New York to be with him.
But that’s not what he wants. He doesn’t see a future with me. I guess I can understand that. Even though he admitted he has feelings for me, I’m not his type. I barely got through school and he was valedictorian. I teach yoga and he’s a successful lawyer. The two of us don’t make sense. And I don’t fit in his world. He’d probably be embarrassed having me in New York with all his smart, successful friends.
‘Lyndsay, say something,’ he says, still waiting for my answer.
‘Friends.’ I force out a smile as I choke back tears. ‘Yeah. We could be friends.’
‘Are you sure? You seem like you’re not.’
‘I’m just not sure what you mean by that. Are you saying we’ll just talk on the phone?’
‘We could do that, or a video call so we could see each other.’
‘We could try it.’ I look out the window.
‘Lyndsay, what’s wrong? You’re acting like you don’t want to do this. If you don’t want to stay in touch, just tell me.’
‘I just don’t think it’ll work. You’re busy with your job and I’ll be busy trying to make a new life for myself. Meeting new people. Dating.’
‘That doesn’t mean we can’t at least try. Unless you don’t want to.’
It’d probably be easier if we made a clean break and I just forgot all about this weekend, but I’m not ready to do that. I’m not ready to let Nick go.
‘We can try it,’ I say, looking over at him.
‘Good.’ He smiles, and when our eyes meet, I feel the attraction between us and whatever it is that makes me feel like we belong together. I’ve always felt a connection with Nick, but I ignored it when I was younger. Now that I’m older, I can’t. It’s there and stronger than ever, but I guess Nick and I just weren’t meant to be.
‘How about a round of mini golf?’ Nick says.
‘You want to play mini golf?’ I ask, thinking he’s kidding.
‘Over there.’ He points to the mini golf course that I don’t even think is open anymore. It’s got weeds growing around it and the paint on the building where you pay is chipped off. ‘I’m not ready to go home yet, and if you don’t want to eat or go get a drink, this might be our only option.’
‘I don’t think it’s open. I think my mom said it closed a few years ago.’
‘Let’s go check it out. If it’s closed, we’ll find something else to do.’ He gets out of the truck.
I really thought he was kidding, but he seems to be serious. He’s walking across the parking lot toward the mini golf course.
