Page 19 of Keep My Heart
‘It’s a lie.’
‘Fine. Then just tell him you changed your mind and want to come over.’
‘I can’t tell him that. He’ll think I’m interested in him.’
‘You are.’
‘Diane, I just got divorced. I’m not dating someone a day after my divorce.’
‘It’s been more than a day. You filed almost a year ago. Yesterday just made it official. You and Chris haven’t even been living together.’
‘It still feels too soon.’
‘Why? What are you waiting for?’
‘I don’t know. More time to pass?’
‘How much time has to pass before you can date again?’
‘More than a day.’ I cover my face with my hands. ‘Ugh. I can’t believe I did that. I can’t believe I asked him out.’
‘You were nervous. It’s easy to blurt stuff out when you’re nervous.’
I drop my hands and slump down on the stool that’s next to the center island. ‘You should’ve heard me. I sounded like a complete idiot. I just kept talking and making no sense. Nick must’ve thought I was crazy.’
‘You’re being too hard on yourself,’ she says, sitting next to me. ‘The guy is good-looking. Rich. Successful. I totally get why you’d be flustered.’
‘He looked so good in that suit,’ I say, an image of him filling my head. ‘I thought he was cute back in high school, but now he’s this tall, muscular, handsome man that gets me all .?.?. tingly inside.’
Diane laughs. ‘Oh God, you’ve got it bad.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I remember feeling that way. It led to me marrying Tom, then getting pregnant, twice.’
I smile. ‘You two were in love. This isn’t love. It’s just attraction making me feel this way. Nick is so handsome and smart and he has that deep voice that gets me all turned on.’ I sigh. ‘Ican’t believe I’m talking like this about some guy the day after my divorce.’
‘Okay, listen.’ Diane puts her hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eye. ‘Your marriage is over. You and Chris are done. You two have been over for a long time and you’re never going back to him.’
‘It’s still too soon to get involved with someone else. And Nick and I live thousands of miles apart. It’s not like we’d ever actually date.’
‘So have some fun with him.’ She gets up and goes around the counter to unload the groceries. ‘You have what .?.?. three nights until he leaves? Don’t waste them.’
‘I’m not sleeping with Nick.’
‘Why not? And don’t say it’s because you still feel some kind of loyalty to Chris. You have every right to be with someone else. And let’s not forget that Chris wasn’t loyal to you when you guys were married.’
I look down. ‘I try not to think about that.’
‘I didn’t want to bring it up, but I had to so you’d remember what a jerk he was and so you’d realize you don’t have to keep being faithful to him. You were way too good to him for way too long. Now it’s time for you to get out there and have some fun with a guy who would actually treat you well. And you and I both know Nick is that guy.’
‘I can’t do it. I don’t even think Nick would want that.’
‘Are you kidding? The guy had a huge crush on you back in high school.’
‘He did not. He was just being nice to me.’
‘He had a crush on you, and I bet he still does. You’ll never know unless you go over there tonight. Just go as a friend. Nothing’s going to happen with Matt and his family there.’
