Page 128 of Keep My Heart
‘But you probably thought she’d tell you no.’
‘I did, but I’m happy she wants to do it.’
‘Are you?’
‘Yes. What are you getting at?’
‘I’m just thinking, you’ve been living alone since college. It’s a huge change to have your girlfriend move in. Even if she gets her own place, she’ll be over all the time. Maybe you’re not ready to give up the bachelor life.’
‘It’s not that. I mean, yes, I’ll need to adjust to having someone around all the time, but I don’t think that’s what’s worrying me.’
‘Then what is it?’
‘I don’t know, maybe thinking it won’t work out? I’ve wanted to be with Lyndsay since high school but never thought it would actually happen. Now that it has, I’m afraid of losing her. Afraid she’ll move to New York, find out I’m not the guy for her, and leave.’
‘Do you love her?’
I don’t answer him.
‘Do you or not?’
‘Yeah,’ I mutter.
‘Why didn’t you answer me the first time?’
‘Because I’m embarrassed to admit it. I just started seeing her.How the hell could I love her?’
‘Sounds like you loved her back in high school.’
‘I don’t know. Maybe.’
‘So now you’re going to push her away because you’re afraid it might not work out?’ He nods. ‘That’s logical.’
I laugh. ‘What the hell?’
‘Hey, I just tell it like it is.’
‘You’re worse than my brothers. They just hint at my stupidity.’
‘I’m not saying you’re stupid. I’m saying you’re afraid, and I get it. You made up this dream in your head of what it’d be like if you two were together. If it doesn’t work out, that dream is gone.’
‘There might be some truth to that,’ I mutter, annoyed that he knows me so well.
‘What if itdidwork out? You really want to give up the chance of that happening to avoid any risk of it not?’
I shake my head. ‘I just can’t figure out how Lyndsay and I could make this work. I’m in the office until eight or nine at night. When would I even see her?’
‘You’re making more excuses.’
‘It’s not an excuse. I seriously have to work that many hours just to keep up.’
‘Then maybe that’s not the job for you.’
‘You’re telling me I shouldn’t be a lawyer? You know how much money I spent on law school? And all the hours I’ve spent at work trying to make partner? I’m not giving that up.’
He shrugs. ‘It’s just something to think about. I’m not saying you give up your career. Maybe just work for a place that doesn’t make you put in all those hours.’
‘So where’s Callie?’ I ask, changing the subject. ‘Did she ride up with your dad?’
