Page 105 of Keep My Heart
‘I’m not saying you can’t date him. I just don’t think you should rush into moving there. Maybe you could just go out there for a few weeks, spend more time with Nick, and decide if this is really something you’d want. Moving across the country is a big deal, especially if it’s for a guy you’ve only been out with a few times.’
‘Diane, I know you’re only trying to help, but really, I’ve got this. I know what I want, and I want to be with Nick. I don’t need more time to decide. And really, what’s the risk? There’s no reason for me to stay in LA. I have no family there. I don’t like my job. I’ll just be going back to an empty apartment in a place I don’t even want to live.’
‘You could move here for a few months. You could go see Nick on the weekends, then come back here and have some time for yourself.’
‘I don’t need time for myself.’ I walk away from her. ‘Diane, why are you so against me being with Nick?’
‘I’m not. But after a long marriage, it’s easy to lose yourself. Taking time to get to know yourself again is a good thing. It’s healthy. And it keeps you from losing yourself again with Nick.’
‘That’s not going to happen. Nick isn’t Chris. He doesn’t tell me what to do or make it all about him. He supports me.’
‘By making you give up your life in LA and move across the country to be with him?’
‘He didn’t force me to do it. I told you how bad he felt asking me to move, and he left it up to me to decide. Now would you stop trying to protect me and let me live my life?’
She nods. ‘You’re right. It’s your life.’ She goes back to the closet. ‘I don’t think I like the red one.’ She takes it out and holds it up. ‘What do you think?’
‘It’s too fancy. I want something more fun. Maybe the pink one.’
She finds it and brings it over to me. ‘This one would look great with your tan, and I like that it’s shorter, not so serious. Try it on!’
And just like that, we’re back to being friends. I love Diane because we can argue without staying mad. What I don’t love about her is what she said about Nick. She acts like he’s just another version of Chris, which isn’t even close to the truth. Nick is nothing like Chris, and unlike Chris, I trust Nick. He’s not going to hurt me like Chris did. He cares about me. He might even love me.
Diane’s just being cautious, but she doesn’t know Nick like I do. To her, he’s a hot-shot lawyer from New York, not the small-town boy we knew in high school.
‘I love it! It’s perfect!’ Diane gushes as I spin around in the dress.
It’s a hot pink, sparkly dress I got for a party years ago. It conforms to my body, has tiny straps at the top, and ends about mid-thigh. I like the dress, but feel like I might be too old to wear it now. That’s why it’s here at my mom’s house, along with some other dresses I never wear and should probably get rid of. I’m storing them here because I don’t have much closet space in my apartment and Chris never took me anywhere nice enough for me to wear a dress.
‘Are you sure?’ I yank the dress down. ‘It’s kind of tight and really short.’
‘On a body like yours? It’s perfect. Every guy there’s going to be staring at you.’
‘I only care about one of them,’ I say, smiling as I look at myself in the mirror.
‘What about your hair? Are you wearing it down?’
‘I think so. And I think I’ll straighten it.’
‘I think you should wear it like it is. Those natural waves you have are gorgeous. Women pay a fortune to get their hair that way in a salon.’
‘I guess I could leave it.’
I’m so used to straightening it because that’s how Chris liked it. I rarely wore it natural. But seeing it now, with its loose bouncy waves, I kind of like it like this.
‘What about jewelry?’ Diane walks over to my dresser where my jewelry is lined up. I didn’t bring much, not thinking I’d wear it while I was home. ‘Are these real?’ She holds up two diamond stud earrings.
‘No.’ I laugh as I walk over to her. ‘Chris and I barely had money for groceries. There’s no way we’d spend money on jewelry.’ I take the earrings from her and put them on.
‘They look great!’ Diane says, smiling at me. ‘And with the sparkles in that dress, I don’t think you need a necklace.’
‘I don’t think so either. So I guess I’m all set.’
‘I need to head out.’ She walks to the door. ‘I have to make sure Tom showers before he gets dressed. He’s been out golfing and getting all sweaty, but for some reason he thinks showers are limited to one a day.’ She rolls her eyes. ‘Men.’
I laugh. ‘Thanks for your help. I’ll see you there.’
She leaves, and I take off the dress and go in the bathroom to shower. Nick is picking me up at six and taking me to dinner before the reunion. I’m a little nervous about going with him, knowing people will wonder what we’re doing together and why I’m not with Chris.
