Page 89 of Keep My Heart
‘She’s not moving to New York. She has a life in LA, and I just made partner. I can’t quit.’
‘How do you know she wouldn’t move? Did you ask her?’
‘No, and I wouldn’t. I don’t want her relocating her entire life, leaving her friends and her job, to be with me. What if it didn’t work out?’
‘What if it did?’
‘I can’t predict that, and since I can’t, I don’t think it’s fair forme to ask her to move. I’d feel like shit if she did all that and then we broke up.’
‘Why don’t you just ask and let her make the decision?’
‘You know Lyndsay. She’d do it just to make me happy. She’s not good at putting herself first. That’s why she ended up with an asshole like Chris. She did everything for that jerk at her own expense.’
‘I don’t think that’s the case here. I think she’d be doing this for her. She wants to be with you, Nick, just as much as you want to be with her.’
‘You don’t know that.’
He blows out a breath. ‘I’m not supposed to say anything, but I think you need to hear this.’
‘Hear what?’
‘When I ran into Diane at the store the other day, she said Lyndsay’s been miserable since you left. She doesn’t want to go out. She hasn’t been sleeping. Diane keeps trying to cheer her up but nothing’s working.’
‘She just got divorced. That’s why she’s feeling that way.’
‘It’s not the divorce. Last weekend, she wasn’t even thinking about the divorce. She was happier than I’ve ever seen her. Diane agreed. Then on Monday everything changed. I’m telling you, man, she misses you. And she doesn’t want to just be your friend. She wants more than that.’
‘I can’t give her more. Even if she moved here, I wouldn’t be able to give her the life she wanted. A big house. Kids. A guy who can spend time with her and isn’t at work all the time. My whole life is this job. I barely have time to even get to the gym these days and every meal’s been takeout that I eat at my desk.’
‘And you’re okay with that?’
‘No, but I don’t know how to change it. It’s not like the work’s going away. Every day I seem to get more piled on me.’
‘How long are you going to keep doing this?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘What’s your goal here? To make a certain amount of money? Be able to buy a fancy car? Get a better apartment?’
‘Honestly, I don’t know anymore. My goal was to make partner, but now that I have, I don’t know what’s next.’
‘Marriage? Kids? You’re just giving that up?’
‘I wasn’t going to, but I don’t see myself having that life here. Like I told you last weekend, I wouldn’t want my kids growing up in the city. I’d want them to grow up in a place like we did, a smaller town that’s safe and has a sense of community where people know each other.’
‘So it’s your job or a family? Is that what you’re saying?’
‘Maybe. Maybe I just need to accept that I can’t have both.’
‘If that’s true, then I feel sorry for you. There’s more to life than a job. I love my job, but if keeping it meant I’d lose Tessa and the kids, I’d give it up in a heartbeat.’ I hear voices in the background. ‘Speaking of kids, I just got to Mia’s daycare. Can we talk later?’
‘I’ll just call you when I get in tomorrow. I’ll be there around eight.’
‘You want me to pick you up?’
‘I’ll see if Sawyer can do it. What about the reunion? You’ll get me a ticket?’
‘Yeah, you can just pick it up that night. I’ll put your name on it. You going to ask Lyndsay to go with you?’
