Page 57 of Keep My Heart
‘Hey, Diane,’ I answer.
‘Hey, are you with your mom?’
‘No. I think she’s still out.’ I go to the garage to check. ‘Yeah, her car’s not here.’
‘Do you guys have plans later? Because I was thinking of having a girls’ night. Tom said he’d watch the kids. We could go out for drinks, get dinner somewhere.’
‘Maybe. Let me talk to my mom and see if she has anything planned.’
‘Oh, wait, aren’t you going out with Nick tonight?’
‘No. We decided not to, orIdid.’
‘What happened?’ she asks in her protective best friend tone. ‘What’d he do?’
‘Nothing,’ I say, going upstairs. ‘I just decided this fake dating thing wasn’t a good idea.’ I go in my room and lay down onthe twin bed that still has the pink comforter on it that I picked out in tenth grade.
‘You had sex with him,’ Diane says.
‘What? No. I mean, we could’ve, but we didn’t.’
‘Lyndsay, just spill it. What happened?’
‘I’m starting to have feelings for him. And I can’t let that happen knowing he’s leaving on Monday.’
‘What are you saying? You’re falling in love with him? After a day?’
‘It’s not love. It feels like .?.?. I don’t know how to describe it. I just know if I keep letting myself fall for him I’ll end up getting hurt.’
‘Then it’s good you’re not going to see him anymore. I never liked the fake date thing anyway.’
‘But I really like Nick. He’s sweet and funny and easy to talk to. And damn, does that boy know how to kiss.’
‘Maybe what you’re feeling is less about Nick and more about being with someone new after all those years with Chris.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Think about it. Chris ignored you. He never took you out. Never spent time with you. You guys weren’t even having sex. And now you’re going out with this really hot guy who’s giving you attention, making you feel desirable again, listening to you. It’s totally normal to feel like you’re falling for him. I think you’re worrying about nothing. You’re not in love with Nick. You’re just getting a taste of what it feels like to be with a guy who actually likes spending time with you. That guy doesn’t have to be Nick. Once you start dating again, you’ll get those same feelings with someone else.’
‘Really? You really think that’s true?’
‘I know it is. Back in college, I went out with a bunch of guys I thought I was in love with, but it wasn’t love. They were just guysI really liked who were hot and gave me a lot of attention and were good in bed. It was hormones making me feel that way, not actual love. And after not having sex for over a year, your hormones are probably going crazy just kissing Nick.’
‘They are. I almost had sex with him today. If we didn’t have to meet up with his brothers, it might have happened.’
‘You met up with his brothers?’
‘At Sawyer’s brewery. Nick’s cousins showed up, too. They’re all in town for the party. They invited me to go, but I didn’t think I should. It seemed like a family thing. And Nick was acting weird. I felt like he didn’t really want me there. He said he did, but I think he was just being nice.’
‘How was he acting weird?’
‘He was acting like we’re friends. He wasn’t holding my hand, wasn’t putting his arm around me.’
‘Because you’re not dating. Lyndsay, you can’t tell the guy you want to fake date him and then expect him to act like you’re actually dating when he’s around his family. Sorry, but I’m gonna have to take Nick’s side on this.’
‘Yeah, I guess you’re right. See, this is why it doesn’t work. The fake dating thing is helping me feel more comfortable about dating again, but I’m getting confused about what’s real and what’s fake.’
‘Did you talk to Nick about it?’
