Page 70 of Unfulfilled Promises
Devlin’s son, DJ, wasn’t happy about not being about to go with us, but when I promised he and I could go for a walk tomorrow, he agreed and left with a smile.
“He played you. You know that, right?” Elise asked while we waved to the kids as they loaded into the vehicle transporting them from the apartment building to Chuck’s house in town.
I assume it’s armored, but I didn’t ask. Shrugging at Elise’s question, I responded, “Little bugger’s too cute to say no to.”
She sighed as we watched the vehicle pull away, followed by three Death Hounds who would provide rotation patrols around Chuck’s neighborhood. They weren’t taking any chances with the kids since Ricardo and Waylon were still ghosts. Not one piece of information on all the cameras Callahan Cyber Security had access to, and I was bugged by that fact.
“If someone doesn’t start saying no to him besides me, he’s going to turn into a terror,” Elise reasoned as we turned and walked back to the elevator.
Pressing the button, it opened and we stepped inside and pushed ‘four’. We were whisked up into the building, heading for James and Amaya’s floor. The doors slid open, and we stepped inside as Amaya came out, freshly showered and looking beautiful. She made it look effortless, and I envied her confidence.
Looking at Elise, I said, “DJ knows how to play us, but he knows we know, so he only uses his powers when he’s really determined. And in those instances, agreeing stops his little meltdowns. And no one wants to see Devlin Junior melt down.” I chuckled, and they joined in. “Not even Devlin Senior.”
“She’s right,” Amaya agreed then asked, “Are you ready? Grace texted and asked us to grab the pizzas on our way and said Sadie’s bringing sweets from the bakery.”
I had my purse across my body as I followed the women down to the parking garage. Elise drove and Amaya sat beside her as we maneuvered the streets of Pierce Bluff. It was a beautiful little town built around Pierce Lake. A few years ago, Amaya learned her father was a Pierce. They had a great relationship, and his grandmother, Eleanor, was a delight to spend time with. They were extremely wealthy but down to earth people who loved Amaya, James, and little Elizabeth deeply.
After running into the pizza place and grabbing a stack of boxes, Amaya returned and placed them beside me on the backseat. It took about ten minutes to get to Lucian and Rylee’s cabin, and as we pulled down the tree-lined driveway, I realized I wanted this. Well, not this exactly, but something that was peaceful, beautiful, and mine and Seth’s.
Lately, every decision I made had him in mind. Especially when it came to intimacy. We’d fooled around a few times, and he loved going down on me, but we still hadn’t had sex, and I was starting to fear that we never would. He hadn’t tried to push me,but I imagined the frustration he felt by giving but not being able to receive.
And I was hoping the ladies gathered here today could help me.
Twice when I grabbed his dick, the feeling in my hand gave me pause and I released him, trying to hide my tears. He held me, whispering that it was okay and that he wasn’t mad. But how could he not be mad when I felt like a flame trapped within a block of ice, and no matter how much my body wanted to melt for him, my brain kept everything frozen?
Walking into Lucian and Rylee’s house, I was amazed at how beautiful it was. An open floor plan allowed me to see most of the living space, and the kitchen was impressive. Carrying the pizzas to the kitchen, I was greeted by Rylee, Hannah, and Aubrey, James’s sister. Elise and Amaya were behind me with more pizzas.
“Hey,” Rylee said and pulled me into a hug.
She moved down the line as I greeted Aubrey and Hannah. A knock on the door sounded into the kitchen and Rylee checked a monitor on the cabinet before announcing, “Stella and the ladies are here.”
She left to let them in as Hannah leaned over and whispered, “Are you ready for this?”
I nodded and smiled as Stella, Sadie, Grace, Violet, Rose, and Hailey walked in carrying bags and boxes from Sadie’s bakery in Portstill. Sadie placed it down and announced, “I had them pack a little of everything, so make sure you sample all the boxes.”
I’d spoken with Hannah about my worries, and it was her suggestion that we get everyone together. A dozen women who’ve battle assault, mental illness, and depression, and who could possibly give me the key to a fulfilling life. Or they could tell me it’s hopeless, and I feared I would lose it. All I wanted wasto be able to take the next step with Seth, but fear kept me from moving forward.
We moved into the living room and camped out on the multiple couches as we enjoyed our pizza. It was Stella who spoke first. “How are things going, Regan?”
I swallowed my bite of food and replied, “Things are okay. They’re still looking for Ricardo and Waylon,” I looked at Hannah, who shook her head, “but otherwise, I guess things are okay.”
“And things with Seth?” Grace asked, and I shrugged. She saw the movement and asked, “What’s going on? Is he pressuring you to do something you’re not comfortable with?”
“No,” I began, “it’s nothing like that. It’s . . .” I sighed and put my plate on the coffee table and wiped my hands as I tried to find a place to start. Looking at Hannah, she gave me a smile and nod, offering her support as I explained. “Every time we . . . get started, when I go to touch him, I, well, it’s not freezing up but more like I get pushed back into my mind and I can’t get past the memories to allow myself the chance to feel.”
“That’s completely normal,” Sadie reasoned, and I gave her my full attention. “After what I experienced, I never thought I would be able to be with a man. Gunner and I tried a few times, but I kept getting triggered, and eventually, it was too much pressure. Then my husband decided the difficulty of being my first after was too much, and he made an epic mistake. But honestly, I’m glad he did. It gave both of us the chance to see a therapist and talk about our issues, fears, regrets, etcetera.”
Everyone knew about Gunner’s ‘mistake’. He got drunk and let a club girl blow him right outside their cabin. Sadie, refusing to be a pawn, left him, telling him to sort his fucking life out. He went into therapy, she went into counseling, and after, they were able to put the past behind them and start a wonderful life.
“The same thing happened to me, and honestly, my first time, I had to keep reminding myself who I was with and that I was in control,” Aubrey admitted, and I could tell her pain was still healing. “But once you remind that little voice that you’re safe, you can truly begin to live.”
Aubrey was put through hell as a child, and if there was anyone here who I seemed to relate to the most, it was her. She was abused by a member of a religious sex cult called the Community when she was a child, and when she was a teenager, her boyfriend and his friends drugged and gang-raped her. She was happily married to Hayden now, but her painful past brought Violet and Rose into the family, along with Rose’s daughter, Iris.
“What if I can’t move past it? How am I supposed to have a relationship if we can’t share each other?” I inquired, and it was Rylee who answered.
“I never thought I could move past what Lucian and I had experienced the night of his initiation. But we were able to have a year of happiness before he had to push me out of the Syndicate. I thought things would get better, but . . . things sometimes take a turn for the worse before they get better. And I can say this from experience. The right man will be there through your triggers and breakdowns. He’ll hold you, love you, tell you it’s okay because it is, and when the time is right, you’ll be able to move past the mental block that’s keeping part of you trapped in the past.”
Lucian and Rylee were a part of the Syndicate, and it was only because Lucian was able to warn Rylee not to fight or try to escape that she’s here with us today. Sergey told me about women who didn’t comply, and how harshly they were dealt with. Luckily, Lucian and Rylee were able to reconnect and forge their path toward forever.
