Page 82 of Treacherous
And I ran away because I couldn’t handle it. I fucking hate myself.
I take a deep breath and head towards Jazmine’s house. Nerves jumble in my stomach as I knock my knuckles against the door.
The handle twists slowly, anticipation eating at my insides. Jaz mutters a curse and steps outside, closing the door behind her.
“You can’t be here right now.”
My eyes flick shut, trying to hide the tears. She already knows. “Please, I need to talk to someone.”
The words are a plea, or maybe it’s me begging. All I know is I’m fucking desperate.
“No,” Jaz says sharply. “My brother called me in the middle of the night, unable to say anything, making me fear the fucking worst. Then I find out he’s in love with you, and all you did was fucking walk away,”
Anger seeps off Jazmine’s tone, hitting me in my already battered heart. She doesn’t let me speak, continuing her rant.
“I love you, Willow, but you need to figure your shit out. I know past relationships haven’t been kind to you, but Jay is a mess right now because you haven’t dealt with your trauma.”
She takes a deep breath. “I’ve never seen Jay like this, even with everything that happened to Allison. You’re my best friend, Willow. But my brother will always come first, and I need to be there for him, right now.”
Jazmine pulls out her phone, and I can see her forward a contact to me. I check my messages to see a phone number. I tilt my head, questioning what this is for.
“It’s the office number of my therapist. Call her and make an appointment.”
I try to argue but shut my mouth. Jaz leaves me standing on her porch, staring at the contact number. I deserved that.
I continue to stare at the number even after getting into my car. I’ve thought about seeing a psychologist a couple of times, but always chickened out at the last moment.
I don’t want to relive my past, when it haunts me enough as it is. But after this, I think I need to. I trace my lip with my tongue, pressing the number Jazmine messaged me.
“Hello, Dr Gray speaking.”
I clear my throat. “Hi. I’m Willow Rogers. Jazmine Allen gave me this number. I was hoping to make an appointment with a psychologist,”
“Of course. What date suits you?”
“The sooner, the better,” I mutter.
Dr Gray is silent for a moment. “I have to ask, are you currently posing a danger to yourself or others?”
“No. Not in a violent way. I just really need to talk to someone,” Another sob falls from my lips, like the dam has broken and I can’t put it back together.
“How about the 15th March?”
“Sounds perfect.”
***
“Hmm,” I say, sniffing the air as I walk into the kitchen. “That smells delicious,”
Aiden and Hayes smile, placing the roast chicken and vegetables on the table. Cooper is already sitting at the table, so I take a seat next to him.
The four of us are the only ones ready to eat dinner, so I assume everyone else is busy. There isn’t a lot of time in our schedule to prioritise other people or hobbies, unless you are more relaxed about hockey and aren’t looking to go pro.
“Did you see we are playing the Colorado Crowns for the first game at Regionals?” Aiden says.
To reach the Frozen Four, you first have to play the Regional Semi-Finals. Lakewood was the number one seed in our region,meaning we don’t have to play our biggest competitors until the quarterfinals. If we get there, that is.
I nod. “Yeah, I can’t wait. The next two weeks can’t go quick enough,”
