Page 79 of Treacherous
I love her.
I’m in love with her.
The words are on repeat in my brain, begging to leave, but I don’t utter them. Not when I discard the condom. And certainly, not when I lay down next to Willow, tangling our bodies together. She doesn’t tell me to leave, and I don’t think I’d be able to.
So, I stay, breaking another rule that we implemented when this arrangement first began.
Chapter 30
Jayden Allen
Willow and I have been avoiding each other for the past three days. Sunday night ruined us. Every time we have fucked each other, it has been to release tension or seek an escape from the pressures around us.
Last time was different.
We yearned for comfort and a familiar person. Whenever I close my eyes, Willow’s golden orbs and the green specks that float around her pupils flash in my mind.
Goosebumps flare on my skin as I think of her ragged breath against my mouth, wanting nothing more than for my lips to brush hers, even if it’s only for a second.
Willow is like fire—she burns with ferocity and passion, never allowing anyone to stand in her way. And I can’t help but think I fell in love with the fire long ago.
I tilt my head back, hitting the headboard behind me. Fuck. What am I going to do? I stare at the ceiling, hoping to find an answer lodged in my brain.
A knock at my door shakes me from my thoughts. I clear my throat. “Come in,”
Willow enters, the small details about her catching my eye. She wears her hair in a braid during the night or for a game, otherwise, it cascades down her back. She rarely wears makeup, not that she even needs it.
I force my eyes to meet hers. A sombre look coats over her gaze, indicating what I knew was coming.
“We need to talk,”
The four most dreaded words of every situationship. I close my eyes, turning my head away from her. “Yeah,”
Willow remains frozen, yet I lock onto her fingers. Her nails are shorter than usual and I recognise a nervous tick when I see one. The silence is uncomfortable, but it doesn’t last long.
“It’s over.”
My chest stops moving, and I can’t fucking breathe. Is it possible for my lungs to collapse from words, or is it my heart shattering from within?
Willow’s words are harsh and direct, not bothering to sugarcoat them. Fuck me. Why did she have to make me want her?
“Why?”
It’s her turn to look away, finding my white walls more interesting than our conversation. “You know why, Jayden?”
I grit my teeth. “No, I don’t actually. All I see is you running away again.” I grab my hair, wanting to rip it from my skull.
Willow pushes her shoulders back, clearly mustering up any courage she has left. “No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. Why are you doing it? You don’t need to.”
Her chest heaves. “I–” Willow looks at her shoes, then back to me. “You’re already attached. It’s best we end it now.”
Her tone is cold, and my eyes widened in disbelief. Attached? She’s kidding herself if she is trying to minimise my feelings. “Attached? That’s what you think,” I tighten my fists. “I fucking love you, Willow!”
The confession falls from my tongue. It’s been waiting, urging to come out for the past month.
My eyes water, and I’m barely able to hold in the tears. My declaration echoes off the walls, slowly disappearing, leaving the two of us in silence.
