Page 34 of Afterglow
If Jazmine and I are friends by the end of the year, I’d say it’s a job well done. I would prefer not to be in the friend zone but I keep reminding myself: baby steps. The more time I spend with Jaz, the more I am questioning my feelings.
I'm trying to remain in denial about wanting a relationship but it's not working. After freshman year, I didn’t think I would get her to talk to me. Although, I do believe she has forgiven me but who knows, it’s Jazmine Allen.
I flip my phone over as the time ticks over four o’clock. Football training starts in half an hour, so I pack all my supplies into my backpack. The fields are close to a ten-minute walk from the library and being the captain, I like to arrive earlier than my teammates.
Since the season started a month ago, the Lakewood Devils have lost one game. It was close though, only two points separating us. The team was the Wyoming Warriors, who were the team we beat in the championship match last year. There is an unsaid rivalry between us, while they might be ahead now, I know the Devils can still come out victorious.
The football fields have small, different coloured cones scattered across it, with Coach Morgan and Dawson talking next to the equipment. Behind me, cars are pulling into the parking lot with Austin and Zander jumping out. The three of us head to our coaches, waiting for the rest of the team to arrive.
“Did you finish your assessments?” Austin asks, as we begin warm up stretches.
“Yeah. I am never leaving things to the last minute again,” I say.
I reach my arms up, rolling them in a backwards motion before changing directions. I learnt the hard way that warm up and cool down are an essential part of training sessions, pre-and post-game.
In my first two years of high school, I didn’t believe stretching would do anything. Next thing I know, I’ve torn three ligaments in my ankle. It fucking hurt and I was ruled out for the season.
“That’s why I chose an easy degree,” Austin says.
I roll my eyes. Austin wants to pursue the NFL and has no other career options in mind. His parents said he needs to prepare for the worst-case scenario though, which is why he is studying business with a major inmanagement. Austin wants to become a coach in the future as it is still connected to the football world.
The last of our teammates arrive, everyone standing in front of the two coaches. We split into two groups, offensive and defensive positions. Coach Morgan takes the first while Coach Dawson takes the latter.
As the quarterback, I am in the offensive group. We work on footwork and agility as this was one aspect we were poor in during our loss. There are fifteen of us but the drill takes no longer than thirty minutes to complete.
After we do passing drills, which would please my father. It never seems to matter if we win or lose, dad has something to pick at.
The groups come together to perform different plays we have come up with over the years. Austin, Logan and I are close to having a psychic connection with the amount of ball work we do together. And since they are the starting tight-end and wide receiver, it is important to know the plays inside and out.
“Theo, swap out with Jake for the rest of the session.” Coach Morgan yells from the sideline.
I move towards the coaches, allowing Jake to take my position for the next set of plays. Jake has been relatively quiet since the season started, not trying to get underneath my skin with petty comments.
The underlying tension between us is because he wants to have more game time. But I think his opinions on who my father is, is more likely to be the reason why Jake hates me.
The coaches call us into a huddle, finishing the training session with a debrief on our next game. Coach Morgan provides feedback to every player, he makes sure to include something positive and an aspect that can be improved. This way, every team member is always pushing themselves to be better.
Coach Dawson hands out the information for the next month, with game times and places. I read through the details. We have two away games then a home game. Our schedule has most of the away games at the beginning of the season, which is great. Having the end of the season at home can help morale. And Lakewood University students always flock to the stadiums especially when victory is on the horizon.
Austin, Zander and I help the coaches pack up the equipment as we don’t have anything on after training. Our other teammates have other commitments, usually work or studying.
After we finish, Austin drives back to our apartment, dropping Zander off on the way. I walked to campus this morning since it would be silly when Austin and I are going back to the same place after training.
“Have you given any more thought to declaring?” Austin asks.
I sigh. “Yes and no. Honestly, I have no clue what I’m going to do. I still love football but if everything with my dad stays as it is, I think I will fall out of love with the sport.”
Austin nods, understanding every word. Everyone says you need to love what you do and right now, I amquestioning whether football is the end game for me. Is it on me to continue my grandfather and father’s legacy?
Whenever I get lost in my mind thinking about the future and its what ifs, I imagine what my mum would have told me. That’s the worst part of the situation. Academics and learning keep me close to my mum even though she’s gone.
God, she would hate the relationship dad and I have now.
I push away the troubling thoughts. I don’t have time to worry about these things. “I’m more worried about me and Jaz’s research project. So far, we have been getting along but I’m sure that will come crashing down at some point,”
Austin shakes his head, a soft smile twitching on his lips. “You’re being very negative today. Are you sure you’re all good?”
I swallow, turning to look out the passenger window. “I’m fine,”
