Page 81 of Toxic Salvation
“He was your hero,” I fill in.
She nods. “And that right there, that’s the problem with heroes. You don’t see them clearly. You wrap them in this perfect image that doesn’t match reality. That’s on me, not him.”
“His sins aren’t yours, Vesper.” My hand twitches in her direction.
It’s torture not touching her. She’s carrying my child. She feels like mine. And despite what she thinks, I meant every word when I told Yana to keep her hands off my woman.
“I know that. I can’t take on his sins when I have plenty of my own to deal with.”
“Come on.”
Finally, she looks at me. “What do you mean?”
“You did one thing to save your mother, but you’ve spent your entire life saving other people’s children. You saved Luka, too, and you didn’t even know him then.” I shift to sit more upright. “I think you’ve had it wrong this whole time, Vesper. Your father was never the hero.Youare.”
Her eyes brim with tears immediately. She tries to hide behind her hair, but I can’t stop myself from reaching out, tucking the blonde strands behind her ear.
She tenses but doesn’t pull away.
“Thank you for telling me the truth, Kovan,” she murmurs, which is a deflection if I’ve ever heard one. “I know it couldn’t have been easy.”
“I figured if we’re going to do this—” I gesture toward her stomach “—we might as well start with honesty.”
“You know the same applies to you, right? You’re not responsible for your father’s sins any more than I am for mine.”
I almost smile. “In my case, it’s more complicated.”
“I know it is. And I know you’re not the hero here, Kovan. But you’re not a monster, either. Good men do bad things sometimes.”
“You think I’m a good man?”
She takes another lick of her cone, and this time, I can’t stop myself. I reach out and wipe the chocolate from the corner of her mouth with my thumb.
She blushes but doesn’t comment on the touch. “I’ve seen how far you’ll go to protect Luka. And me. It means more to me than you’ll ever know. In fact, it might mean more to me than right and wrong.”
I study her face, trying to decode what she’s really saying. She seems determined to avoid my eyes. “What exactly are you trying to tell me, Vesper?”
She closes her eyes and tilts her face up to the sun. We have maybe an hour of daylight left, but right now, it feels endless.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is that there might be a chance for us.” She opens her eyes and looks directly at me. “If you want it.”
I breathe quietly. After everything we’ve been through, everything I’ve done wrong, she’s still willing to try. That means more than she could ever understand.
“Vesper…”
“I know it’s complicated. I know we have a lot to work through. But I love Luka, and I…” She takes a shaky breath. “I love you, too. Despite everything. Maybebecauseof everything.”
I reach for her hand. “You sure about that?”
“No,” she admits. “I’m not sure about anything anymore. But I’m tired of being afraid. I’m tired of running from what I want because it might hurt me.”
“And what do you want?”
She turns her hand over in mine, lacing our fingers together. “I want us. All of us. You, me, Luka, the baby. I want to try to make this work.”
I bring her hand to my lips and press a kiss to her knuckles. “Then let’s try.”
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