Page 67 of Toxic Salvation
“No. That night at the hospital was completely random.” The memory feels like it happened to someone else now, though. “Neither my brother nor I wanted anything to do with the organ trade. We were old enough to know better when we took over.”
“Does Vesper know that?”
“Yes. But she’s having trouble believing it.”
Annabelle nods slowly. “Can you blame her? She spent thirty-one years idolizing a man she adored, only to discover he betrayed everything he claimed to stand for. And now, she finds herself loving a man she’s not sure she should trust.”
“Maybe it’s better that way,” I say, even though it hurts to suggest. “No good can come from us being together.”
“Good has already come from you being together,” Annabelle points out. “That baby she’s carrying is proof of it. Are you telling me you can walk away from that?”
“I’ll be there. I’ll make sure they’re safe and comfortable. I won’t disappear on either of them.”
“Then why wouldn’t you try to make it work with Vesper?”
I open my mouth but nothing comes out. Annabelle fills the gap for me.
“You’re scared of losing her. I’ve been there. But take it from someone who’s running out of time: You’ll regret not being with her far more than you’ll regret taking the risk.”
I study the worry lines etched deep in her forehead. “Why are you encouraging this? I’m not exactly the man most mothers want for their daughters.”
“I’m not most mothers and Vesper isn’t most women.” Pride fills her voice despite her exhaustion. “She needs someone who understands her past and her pain. Someone who can handle her strength and her ambition. She needs you, Kovan. Your shared history might be twisted, but it’s also what makes you right for each other. You just need to admit how you feel about her.”
I stare at my hands. Scarred hands, tattooed hands, hands that have been doused in so much blood and wrongness. “I’ve never been in love before.”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t recognize it when it happens.” She waits, watching my face. “Do you recognize it?”
Tap, tap, tap.Knocking starts up outside the door, but I ignore it. Probably a nurse with Annabelle’s next round of medications.
I look up at her. “I’m in love with your daughter.”
Annabelle exhales like she’s been holding her breath. “About time.”
“That only makes everything more complicated.”
“It always does. Don’t you think my decision would have been easier if I didn’t love Thomas? I could have packed up my children and started fresh somewhere else. But I did love him. So, I stayed, even though what he was doing disgusted me. I chose him over my conscience, and there are days I regret it. But there are more days when I don’t.”
Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.
“She doesn’t trust me, Annabelle. I don’t know how to change that.”
“Start with the truth,” she says simply. “The truth always helps.”
Tap, tap?—
“Goddammit! What?” I bark at the door.
Osip’s face appears in the crack. “Sorry, Ko, but we have a situation you need to know about.”
I touch Annabelle’s hand once, then step into the hallway. “What situation?”
Osip shifts uncomfortably. “It’s Vesper.”
Pavel rounds the corner, slightly out of breath. “She’s barricaded herself in your office and she’s tearing the place apart. We figured we’d let her. All the sensitive intel is on your laptop behind the firewall anyway.”
I start walking toward my office. “Right.”
“What do you want us to do?” Osip asks, falling into step beside me. “If you don’t want to be the bad guy, I can go in there and drag her out.”
