Page 51 of Toxic Salvation
Because even if she is working for my enemies, even if she’s here to destroy me, it doesn’t change the reality that she’s carrying my child.
It doesn’t change the fact that I’d rather kill myself than hurt her.
“Vesper?”
She stops at the door, turning back to look at me over her shoulder. “Yes?”
“Is everything alright? Is there something you want to talk about?”
The quiet drags on. One second. Three. Five.
Finally, she shakes her head. “No. There’s nothing.”
But everything about her body language tells me that’s a lie.
19
VESPER
It’s a good thing I chose to become a doctor, because this much is certain: I’m not cut out for being a spy.
I’m the shittiest spy there ever was. I jump at loud noises. I make far too much noise myself. And I’ve been caught twice now, trying to get inside Kovan’s office.
The first time was by the maid, who was easy to convince with some lame excuse about looking for Kovan. But the second time was by Pavel, who stared at me with those dark, knowing eyes that made it crystal clear he wasn’t buying what I was selling.
Which in this case would be my dignity.
I’m still loitering by the staircase, taking pathetic little peeks at Kovan’s door when Pavel emerges from the kitchen. “Vesper, what are you still doing here?”
I flinch but try to pretend he didn’t just catch me red-handed. Again. “Nothing, okay? I just wanted to talk to Kovan about something.”
“I told you already, he’s not going to be here ‘til tonight.” Pavel crosses his arms, and suddenly, I understand why people are intimidated by the Krayev brothers. Even the youngest one has this way of making you feel like you’re being interrogated. “What’s so important that you need him now?”
My brain scrambles for a believable lie. “Erm… I have needs, okay?”
Pavel stops dead. His cheeks actually turn pink. “Oh… okay. Ah-hem… hormones. I get it.”
“I didn’t mean it like that!” I call after him as he practically sprints away from me.
Fantastic. I’m officially turning into a basket case. The timing couldn’t be better—I’m going to be a mother in a few months, so naturally, I have to pick now to lose my mind completely.
Before I can spiral further into self-loathing, my phone starts ringing. I glance at the screen and see Charity’s name. Guilt immediately slugs me in the gut.
“Hello?”
“Vesper Fairfax, if you don’t give me a good explanation right freaking now about where you’ve been and how you’ve been, I’m going to… do something… bad.”
Despite everything, I almost smile. “Really? That’s the best threat you’ve got?”
“I didn’t expect you to answer,” she grumbles. “You didn’t answer my last three calls. Or my texts. Or the carrier pigeon I sent.”
“I know; I’m sorry. That was unforgivable of me. There’s just a lot going on right now.”
“With Annabelle?” Her tone immediately shifts to concern. “Is she okay? I thought the fact that they discharged her from the hospital was a good sign. I brought over some pastries for her yesterday, but the house looked all closed up.”
That’s when I realize just how much I’ve shut out my best friend. And how awful she must feel about being excluded.
“We haven’t caught up in a while, have we? There’s a lot I have to tell you.”
