Page 178 of Toxic Salvation
His green eyes scan the crowd, and I can see the fire burning in them even from here. “You are all family,” Kovan concludes. “And I will take care of all of you. I swear this on the names of the men we lost today.”
The moment he stops talking, the applause starts. It’s slow at first, then builds—clapping that’s rippling with emotion, bolstered by grim faces that haven’t yet found closure. It continues for what feels like forever, and Kovan stands there alone on that platform, a solitary figure watching everyone applaud him.
I want to be up there with him. But I ball my hands into fists and remind myself that it’s not enough to just be Kovan’s wife anymore.
I have to be apakhan’swife. A Bratva wife.
The rules are different here.
60
VESPER
It’s nearly midnight when we finally get home.
I go straight to the nursery to check on Tali, who’s sleeping peacefully in his crib with the night nanny on duty beside him. Maria looks up from the baby blanket she’s crocheting and gives me a quick rundown of his day—how much he ate, when he napped, how long he played with his toys. I breathe a sigh of relief knowing my baby is safe and well cared for.
I slip into Luka’s room next, just to see his sleeping face. He’s curled up so tightly in his blankets that he’s barely visible, but I can see enough to know he’s peaceful. Content.
Satisfied that my boys are okay, I head back to our bedroom. Kovan is already in the shower. The bathroom door is closed and I can hear the water running.
I stand outside the door, still wearing my black Prada dress and Valentino wedges. My hair is still pinned in its neat chignon, though several strands have escaped throughout the long day.
He probably wants to be alone. It was an exhausting day, and he kept his distance from me the entire time. Maybe that’s his way of telling me to keep mine as well.
I start to walk away from the door—but something makes me stop.
“Screw that,” I whisper under my breath as I reach behind me to unzip the dress.
It feels incredible to be rid of the stiff fabric. I step out of my heels and pull the pins from my hair, letting it fall loose around my shoulders. Naked, I slip quietly into the bathroom.
The room is thick with steam. I can barely make out Kovan’s silhouette through the glass shower door. He’s standing with his back to me, and over the sound of the powerful spray, he hasn’t heard me enter.
My heart pounds as I slide open the shower door and step inside. The wall of heat immediately envelops my body, and I have to blink against the fog.
Kovan turns at the sound, and when his eyes meet mine, I see everything he refused to show today.
The exhaustion.
The worry.
The weight of responsibility that threatens to crush him.
All my doubts evaporate instantly. I walk straight into his arms and pull him close. “You were incredible today,” I murmur against his chest. “Absolutely incredible.”
He doesn’t say anything, but his arms tighten around me until I can barely breathe. I don’t care. I’d rather he cut off my circulation than end this embrace.
He needs this.
We both do.
Finally, he loosens his grip and looks down at me, conflict swirling in those green eyes. “You didn’t have to stay the whole time,” he says. “Pavel or Osip could have driven you home after you paid your respects to the families.”
“You stayed, so I stayed, too. My place is beside you, Kovan.”
He frowns, studying my face. “You must be exhausted.”
“Not half as exhausted as you are,” I say, reaching up to stroke his cheek. The skin is rough with stubble, and there are new lines around his eyes that weren’t there this morning. “We were there for hours, and you never sat down once. Not even for a minute. I wanted to come to you, wanted to be there for you, but Pavel stopped me. He said you needed to handle it alone.”
