Page 175 of Toxic Salvation
“What do you mean?”
“He tracked down a local gang and paid them to kill our men. There was nothing noble about their deaths. Nothing honorable. They were gunned down in alleys and parking lots like dogs.”
I look up to see she’s gone pale, though her jaw is still set in that determined line. The pallor in her skin makes me cringe. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have?—”
“Kovan Krayev,” she snaps, “don’t you dare apologize for sharing with me. Not ever. I don’t care how bad or how scary it gets—Iwantto know. Especially if it’s something that makes you want to sit in the dark with the lights off.”
She takes my face in her hands, staring at me with such fierce intensity that for a moment, I believe she really can fix everything broken in my world.
“I don’t want you to worry about this,” I insist in a low rumble. “I can handle it.”
“I know you can. My point is, you don’t have to handle it alone. You don’t have to do anything alone anymore, Kovan. I’m here now; I’m your wife. I want to be here.”
My chin sags to my chest. “All those men… I promised to protect them.”
“You can’t protect everyone all the time, my love.” Her voice goes soft, soothing. “But I’ll tell you what you can do now. You can take care of their families. These men—they left behind people, didn’t they? Loved ones? Mothers, fathers, wives, children?”
“Yes.”
“Then let’s make sure they’re all taken care of. Let’s give them funerals worthy of the sacrifice they made. I can plan everything.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to.”
I shake my head at this angel who somehow fell into my lap. “Why?”
She smiles and takes my hand, pressing a soft kiss to my knuckles. “Because I’m your wife. It’s my job.”
Three days later, I’m standing in front of our bedroom mirror, fighting with a silk tie that refuses to cooperate. I’ve tied this same knot a thousand times before, but today, my fingers won’t work properly. Everything feels clumsy and wrong.
“Fuck!” I throw the tie to the floor.
There’s a soft sound behind me. I turn to find Vesper watching me, our son cradled in her arms. She walks to the bassinet by her side of the bed and settles Tali down gently, then picks up my discarded tie.
“Let me.”
I stand perfectly still as she approaches, that soft smile playing at her lips as she drapes the silk around my neck.
“I used to tie my dad’s ties for him when he had important meetings or conferences,” she murmurs. “He used to say I was his good luck charm.”
I watch her work, noting the concentration on her face, the way her fingers move with confidence, wondering for the millionthtime if I committed a grave sin when I dragged her into my world.
What does it say about me that I’ve dragged her into this cesspit? If I really loved her, shouldn’t I want better for her than this life?
“There.” She touches my chest. “Perfect. You’re ready.”
“Thank you.”
“Of course.” She steps back to look at the suit I’m wearing. “Could you give me five minutes? I won’t take long.”
“Take long for what?”
“I have to get dressed for the funerals.”
My face hardens. “Vesper—you’re not coming with me.”
Her smile vanishes. “Excuse me?”
