Page 71 of Toxic Salvation
He chuckles. “Have you always been this bad at accepting compliments?”
“Sorry. I just… I feel like such a fraud.”
“You’re not a fraud. You’re human. And humans make impossible choices sometimes.”
I arch into his touch despite myself. “Is that why you broke up with me?”
His hand drops away. “I broke up with you because the situation changed. Ihor threatened to take Luka away if I didn’t comply with his demands. I had to choose between protecting you and protecting him.”
“I know. I understand that now. I just…” The words I want to say are stuck in my throat. “I just want you to pick me, too.”
He goes very still. “Vesper.”
“I want both,” I continue. “I want you to keep Luka safe and I want you to want me anyway. I know that’s selfish. I know it’s asking too much. But I can’t help it.”
He studies my face for a long moment. “You were hoping to find proof that I was still running the operation.”
I blink. That’s not what I expected. “What?”
“If I were still trafficking organs, you could walk away without feeling guilty about wanting me. You could tell yourself I was irredeemable and move on with your life.”
The accuracy of his observation makes me cringe. “Well… maybe.”
“But now, you know I’m trying to get out. So what does that change?”
“Everything. Nothing. I don’t know.” I meet his eyes. “Do you still want me? After everything that’s happened?”
His pupils dilate. For a moment, I think he’s going to say yes. Then his expression hardens. “It doesn’t matter what I want.”
“It matters to me.”
“Vesper, there’s something else you need to know. Something that might change how you feel about all of this.”
Cold dread washes over me. “What?”
“Your father didn’t just refuse those liver transplants because he felt guilty. He refused them because my father gave him an ultimatum.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Thomas wanted out of the Keres operation months before he got sick. He kept trying to undermine the organization, sabotage deals, warn potential victims. Genrikh couldn’t let that continue.”
My mouth goes dry. “What are you saying?”
“If the liver disease hadn’t killed your father, my father would have.”
I stumble to my feet, backing away from Kovan. “No. No, that’s not… My father died of Wilson’s disease. It was genetic. He was sick.”
“He was sick, yes. But he was also marked for death.”
“You’re lying.”
“I’m not.” Kovan stands slowly, his hands raised like he’s approaching a wounded animal. “Thomas refused treatment because Genrikh told him that if he accepted a transplant and lived, your entire family would be killed. Your father died to keep you and Waylen and your mother safe.”
I clutch the edge of the desk for balance. “You’re saying your father murdered mine.”
He nods solemnly. “Essentially, yes.”
“And you knew this. All this time, you knew.”
