Page 66 of Toxic Salvation
“Ves—” He reaches for me, but I stumble backward.
“No! Don’t touch me!” I turn blindly toward the door, needing to escape this room, these revelations, the crushing weight of understanding. “Just leave me alone. Leave me the hell alone!”
I flee down the hospital corridor, but I can’t outrun the truth.
I’m my mother’s daughter, loving a man who kills people.
I’m my father’s daughter, destroying lives to save the ones I love most.
I’m a monster.
I’m a killer.
I’m a beast.
I am the walking damned—and I deserve everything that’s coming to me.
24
KOVAN
“Go after her, Kovan,” Annabelle pleads from her hospital bed. She’s struggling to push herself upright despite the obvious pain.
Every instinct I have screams at me to chase Vesper down the hall, to corner her until she lets me fix this. But I force myself to move toward Annabelle instead. I rest a gentle hand on her shoulder.
“The chemo takes everything out of you,” I tell her. “Don’t try to get up.”
Even the smallest effort leaves her gasping against the pillow, her skin taking on that gray pallor of those who’ve accepted what’s coming. She’s fighting a war she cannot win. A war she doesn’t evenwantto win.
“One of us needs to talk to her,” Annabelle insists.
“She needs space right now. Pushing her will only make things worse.”
Annabelle’s chin trembles. “How is it that you know what she needs and I don’t?”
I sink into the chair beside her bed, studying this woman who raised the most stubborn, brilliant, infuriating person I’ve ever met.
“I’m not sure I do,” I admit.
“No, you understand Vesper in ways that I never have.” Annabelle pulls at her thinning hair. The chemo has stolen its thickness, its luster, its life, but the dignity she’s retained makes her beautiful still. “She’s always been a daddy’s girl. Even when she was little, when she was sick or scared, she wanted him. Never me.”
I sigh, knowing what she’s really saying. “She doesn’t blame you for staying with Thomas.”
“Yes, she does. And she should.” Annabelle reaches for the water cup with shaking hands. “I know most people won’t understand the choice I made. How could I stay with a man like Thomas and just ignore what he was doing? It makes me complicit.”
“He was the father of your children.”
“Yes, but that’s not why I looked the other way.” She takes a careful sip. “When you’re younger, you think life is black and white. Right and wrong, with no room for middle ground. But it’s never that simple.”
I help steady the cup when her grip falters. This woman is dying, and she’s still trying to protect her daughter from hard truths. I have to admire her bravery.
“Trust me, I know about impossible choices,” I tell her. “My father created the Keres. The whole operation exists because he built it from nothing and recruited your husband.”
Annabelle stares at me. “No…”
“I found out a few months ago. Until then, Vesper was just a doctor who happened to work at the same hospital where the ring operated.”
“Did you know from the beginning? When you met her?”
