Page 90 of All That Glitters
“Ashton…”
“Would you do it?”
“Please. Drop it. I’m not going to ask again.”
“I see. And if the fate of our arrangement hung in the balance?”
“Then I guess it would be over.”
“Just like that? You’d be fine with it?”
“It was your idea in the first place,” I snapped.
He inched closer and I really had nowhere else to go. I could make good on what I said about leaving him there to find another way home, but that would not make me look good in front of Darien Cross. The man was looking into me for a job. I didn’t need one. But maybe I needed to leave the family business. I didn’t want to look like a flake or that I didn’t care about my professional reputation.
“Yes, Helen. It was my idea. And you haven’t complained a single bit.” He traced my cheek with his lips. “You’ve liked it each time I’ve touched you, made you come, fucked…you.”
“That’s… That’s not… Ashton…” I pushed at him, but I’ve never been a match for his power over me. “This isn’t the place.”
“Neither was your bedroom, but we made do.” His hands were at my hips with one sliding up to the middle of my back, and the other sliding around to grip my ass. We were pressed so close again, closer than we should be in a public place, closer than we should be when Darien could walk out and find us. No one was supposed to know about this little thing between us.
But honestly how little was it when it affected everything about me when I was awake and haunted my dreams when I slept.
I wanted Ashton more than was healthy and I was pretty sure he knew it without my having to say a word. He could read me better than anyone, even better than Hale.
Ashton’s head moved toward me. The kiss was inevitable. He wanted to stop my protests and I wanted his lips on mine every single day for the rest of my life.
A thought occurred to me and my fingers pressed against his mouth. He arched a brow in question and moved his head back a fraction. “Helen?”
“Is this how you were going to get back at Hale?”
“What are you talking about?” His voice… It changed. The bravado wasn’t as strong.
“Was this your plan all along? Get me back in a race car? The only other person as good as Hale, as good as you. If you weren’t able to race for a while longer, you could find a way to get me back into racing to give him that kind of competition.”
“I… No. But it is fucking brilliant.”
“Even though you asked me about it at your parent’s house? Goddammit, Ashton.” It made a twisted kind of sense, whether he denied it or not. Having sex with me wouldn’t be enough to get back at Hale, but convincing me to race again, or at least making me question how things turned out? Oh yeah, that could work. That would turn everything in my life, everything in Hale’s life upside down. “Who do you hate more? Me or Hale?”
“I don’t hate you. You know I don’t hate you.”
“You don’t hate Hale, either. You just can’t get over yourself long enough to realize it.”
“You deserve it, Helen. You deserved it a couple of years ago. You know it. I know it. Hale probably knows it. Your parents definitely know it.”
“It was a hobby.” The lies burned my tongue like acid, but I wouldn’t take them back. I needed Ashton to leave it all alone. It hurt too much and I was willing to leave him, to walk away from him more than I was willing to fuck up my family and the careful dynamics in place.
“You’re such a fucking liar, Helen. And to my face. After everything…”
“Everything? You mean the coercive sex?” I snapped at him and watched the darkness fill his eyes, the hurt that he was quick to mask.
“The years of friendship before that, is what I meant, but sure, the coercive sex, too.”
“You fucked the friendship up all on your own. Why can’t you just accept that you’re wrong?”
“Because I’m not.” His stare pierced me, skewered me in place like a blade to the gut. As much as I loved him, I couldn’t choose him over Hale in this. I could fuck him. I could try helping him heal. But I wouldn’t betray my brother.
Even though you were the one betrayed? I shook the voice away again. I couldn’t think about it that way.
