Page 80 of All That Glitters
“What are you thinking about? You look like you can’t decide between fucking me and stabbing me.”
“I can’t.” There was both admission and admonishment in my reply.
“Touched a nerve, did I? Good. You needed it touched. You need all of your pieces and parts touched.”
Sex. yes. If I could keep him focused on sex, it was possible I would be able to shut all the other shit away for the rest of the night.
“No.” He leaned forward, kissed the tip of my nose, then sat back. “I know that look, Helen. You’re not getting my dick until we finish this conversation.”
“We are finished. Drop it, Ashton.”
“Nope.”
“Why? Why are you pushing me about this?”
“Because no one else did. Not even me and I’m… I’m sorry. No one pushed for you.”
“That’s not what our arrangement was.”
“Maybe it should’ve been. You help me, I help you.”
“You won’t let me help you.”
“And you’re fighting against me helping you.” He dragged a finger down the center of my chest to the edge of my jeans. “Seems we have ourselves a little conundrum.”
“We wouldn’t have one if you’d leave it alone. What’s done is done. I took a different path and I’m damn good at my job.”
“No one has ever said you aren’t, certainly not me, but are you really going to sit on my thighs and tell me that you’re not just a little bit resentful? That you’re not just a little bit angry, even if you’ve buried it so deep that my cock can’t even reach it?”
“Jesus, Ash…”
“You lying to him, too?”
Ashton’s mouth took mine a split second later. His arms wrapped around my back and pulled me forward and into him. Every thought fled and I gave myself up to the taste of him, the feel of his lips, the coaxing of his tongue.
With him, like this, nothing else mattered. Even the dreams that were snatched from my hands…
With him, like this, the way our bodies fit, the way our mouths fit, there was nothing but us.
It was enough. It would have to be.
18
Ashton
The ocean air was bone chillingly cold. The wind had picked up and running into it exhausted me but also felt good. Running on the beach helped me think, helped me clear my head and being that it was January and early morning, I was generally the only one outside.
I usually headed north, but today I’d chosen to take my run south. I didn’t want to question why. I didn’t want to examine anything too close. I’d had enough of that last night. Helen and I hadn’t talked anymore after I kissed her.
I’d only been back running along the shore since Christmas Eve and had only missed a couple of days. The treadmill in the gym couldn’t compete with the salt, the sand, the waves, the sunrise. It was a form of therapy that no amount of talking while sitting on a couch could touch.
Before long the back of the Troye home came into view, the morning sun glinting off the windows. I settled on the steps leading up to their deck and watched the gentle roll of the water. Let Hale come shoo me away.
Was he awake yet? Was he home? Was he wondering if Helen came back or if she was still out?
Had she woken up, found me gone, and taken the opportunity to leave? I hadn’t left a note which was a shitty thing, but I’d been doing a lot of shitty things. Maybe she could add it to the list.
Whatever had pulled me from the deepest sleep I’d had in the months since the wreck, I couldn’t say. Waking up beside Helen was something I never imagined would happen and I had no idea how I was going to make it happen again and again, but I needed to figure it out. The softness of her body, the warmth, the tiny snore…
