Page 50 of All That Glitters
“Okay, but…”
“But?”
“But what isn’t your choice is what happens tonight, in your bed.”
“Ashton…”
“You said yes, remember?”
“Not here.”
“You wouldn’t come down, so…”
“What does that have to do with anything? Were you planning to fuck me in the front yard?”
“Crass, Helen. Once upon a time I would’ve said it doesn’t become you, but I actually think it does. I like it.”
“Just go and I’ll come meet you.”
“Too late. I’m already here.”
I wouldn’t pretend, to myself at least, that I hadn’t spent years in this very room wishing he was here, wishing he was interested in me, wishing he wanted me the way I wanted him.
Now that he was, though, I couldn’t decide if I wanted him to stay or to leave.
He advanced on me, stripping his shirt off over his head, unbuttoning his jeans… I was momentarily distracted, my eyes widening at the sight of him. He stopped mid-stride and that bravado, that irritating and sexy and pushy attitude slipped.
“Go on. Look. Touch.”
He sounded angry, almost belligerent, but it didn’t stop me from looking, touching…
Scars marred his otherwise smooth skin. Long gashes that had healed and were mostly white. Surgical marks where his bones had to be repaired. There were scars on his legs, too. I’d seen them in the hospital when I’d been to visit him. The gown hadn’t been able to hide everything.
His fire suit had protected him from the flames.
And the damage to his body could’ve been so much worse had the car not absorbed the impact the way it had. He could’ve died without all the safety improvements. He could’ve been paralyzed. He could’ve… There were so many could haves… But the car didn’t absorb all the impact given the broken and fractured bones. I knew how many pieces of him were held together with pins and plates and screws and rods. The media had reported some of it. The marketing team at Glitterati Racing had been careful how much they revealed about the extent of his injuries.
I understood that.
He didn’t need to know how much I knew. He didn’t need to relive how vulnerable he was. I’d known him long enough to know being that defenseless, that helpless was something he hated. He didn’t have to say the words.
Just like he didn’t have to say right now how much he disliked the scrutiny he’d allowed me. It wouldn’t last for long and I wouldn’t take more advantage than what he was willing to grant me.
Ashton Glitterati, scarred or not, was one of the most beautiful men I’d ever seen and racing was full of beautiful men. But none like Ashton.
“You never saw me before I was like this.”
“Only when we’d all go swimming, but I tried not to stare.”
“The other girls did.”
“I’m aware. And there’s nothing wrong with you like this.”
“There’s everything wrong with me like this.”
He was angry. It was just beneath the surface, it simmered there, and spit bits and pieces out when it was too much. I didn’t know if he was going to be able to hold it back when it came to me or not. I trusted him not to physically harm me, but I knew I couldn’t trust him not to hurt my heart, not to break our friendship to the point of no return.
If I were honest with myself, if I was brave enough for that, then I’d admit that I’d rather my heart be broken by him than by anyone else.
