Page 34 of The Close-Up
“God, no way.”
“Oh, come on. Look at how wholesome he is. That clean-cut blond hair and boyish smile. I bet he even rows crew for whatever college he goes to. Or plays water polo. That’s the kind of guy you bring home to Mom and Dad, and then jet off to the nearest strip club and cheer him on as he drives the place wild. Win-win.”
“First of all, I’m not into dating guys who are ten years younger than me. That guy looks barely old enough to get in here.”
Simon’s brow starts to lift, but I shake my head. “I’m so over college guys. I was over them was I was in college.”
“Fair enough.”
“Besides, I won’t be bringing anyone home anytime soon—or ever. I’m in the middle of a relationship ban, remember?”
He nods yes as he downs the last of his club soda. I slide him my drink to finish, which he happily accepts. Just then the song ends and frat boy takes a bow to raucous applause.
“Up next is... Simply Simon!”
My jaw drops.
“I thought it would be good promo for the series.” He stands.
I hold up my phone. “I’m ready. Break a leg.”
He leaves me with a grin then jogs up the steps to the opening bars of “No Diggity.” I nearly drop my phone as I laugh. And then I hold my breath as Simon completely dominates onstage. He moves to the beat of the song, teasing each piece of clothing like a pro. First he tosses aside his jacket, then he lifts the hem of his shirt, moving his hips gently. The crowd loses it. People jump from their seats, hollering and whistling, clearly loving the show Simon is putting on for them.
It soon gets so rowdy I have to stand up and move closer to the stage to get a clear view of him as I film. The second verse hits and Simon is bare chested, a giddy smile plastered on his face.
I wonder just how far he’s going to go. The guys before him all stripped down to their underwear and opted to leave them on. Will he do the same?
He goes to pull his belt loose, and tosses it into the audience. My jaw drops. Holy crap. He’s really going for it.
“Yes, baby, yes!” a woman at the table next to me screams. A guy behind me howls.
I realize that my mouth has been open the past several seconds as I take it all in. I quickly close it, swallow, and contribute my own pitchy “Woo-hoo!” To the tidal wave of screams as Simon’s jeans fall to the floor. He’s left in a snug pair of dark gray boxer briefs that showcase just how well-endowed he is.
If the crowd was wild before, they’re unhinged now. I hold my breath as the final bars of the song play, wondering if this is it...or if he’ll go full monty. He looks off to the side and finds me gawking at him. We make eye contact and the corner of his mouth tugs up into the surest, smuggest smirk I’ve ever seen. As the song fades out, he winks at me, spins around so his back is to the audience, and pulls his boxer briefs down, treating everyone to a full-on view of his flawless, muscled ass.
“Holy god,” I mutter to myself.
But I can’t even hear my own voice. The audience has just lost its collective shit and the volume in the room is decibel-shattering. My ears will be ringing for days after this, if not weeks.
But I’m all smiles. I’m giggling like I’ve just had a hit of laughing gas. That was the single most entertaining thing I’ve ever seen. It was equal parts hot, adorable, and endearing—just like Simon.
I stop recording on my phone, slide it back into my pocket, and run over to him as he exits the stage.
He’s pulling his shirt back on as he scales down the steps, blushing as hordes of people shout how hot he is and how much they love him. A few blow kisses at him.
Weaving through the crowd to get to him is a monumental task as everyone is on their feet cheering and hollering. I bump into a million people along the way. I’m nearly to Simon when an overenthusiastic fan jumps up from her chair, running into me, and I fall into him. He catches me in his arms and I let out a giggle, in awe that this embrace isn’t awkward at all. Maybe it’s because in the few weeks we’ve known each other, we’ve gotten as personal as you could possibly get—I hit on him, he’s seen me naked, and we almost slept together. But we worked past it all and now a unique comfort exists—the kind of comfort you feel with a friend you’ve been through the wringer with.
That feeling lingers as Simon pulls me into a hug. The rumble of his laughter vibrates against my chest. I can’t help but laugh too, feeling a whole new kind of giddy.
“Holy hot damn, am I right, everyone?” the DJ hollers over the speaker system. “Let’s hear it for Simply Simon!”
The crowd whistles and cheers around us.
When Simon and I pull apart, the first thing I see is his smile. It’s as wide as mine.
“How did I do?” he asks.
“Like you don’t already know.” I give him a light shove on his shoulder. “You smashed it.”
