Page 22 of The Close-Up
“You don’t think that would be weird?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well...because of how...you know. You and I met.”
His gold-brown eyes search my gaze and that’s when I realize he’s waiting for my response. He’s waiting for me to tell him it’s okay to date another woman...even though if I hadn’t been sloshed the night we met, it’s almost guaranteed that we would have ended up together.
Just the thought sends goose bumps across my skin. I take another gigantic bite of egg tart to divert my focus. None of that matters now. Yeah, I still find him insanely attractive, but we’re solidly in the friends camp. And it needs to stay that way, given we’re working together and I don’t want anything coming in the way of this series and my promotion.
I finish chewing, swallow, and smile at him, hoping he can’t decipher the flurry of hot-and-bothered feelings that rest underneath.
“Look, I know I technically tried to pick you up the night we met, but it didn’t end up working out. And honestly, I think we’re working out pretty well as friends and work colleagues right now. So you’re free to date whoever you want.”
He blinks before nodding, smiling slightly. “Yeah, definitely. Maybe I’ll call her when we get back to San Francisco, then.”
He tosses his crumpled napkin in the nearby trash can before standing up, then sticks his hand out to help me up from the bench. We hop into the car and head back to the Airbnb.
“Coming to you changed everything for us, Simon. Truly.” Cole, one of Simon’s clients, gushes while holding the hand of his wife, Tamara. They’re one of the married couples who have agreed to let Dash document their counseling session with Simon for the series.
They sit in dual armchairs just a few feet from Simon in the living room of the Airbnb. It’s currently a makeshift therapy session space since the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the crystal-blue expanse of Lake Tahoe offer the perfect light for filming.
I stand quietly in the corner behind the camera, taking notes to reference when I edit the footage later on.
Simon returns a smile. “How have you two been doing since I saw you last?”
Cole and Tamara explain how they both have been working on their argument style—trying to remain measured in their tone and avoiding hurtful language when they’re upset.
“We’ve come a long way since all that door slamming and storming out. Oh, and my personal favorite: the cold shoulder,” Tamara says.
Cole gently squeezes her hand, then leans over to kiss her forehead. I recall the info they jotted down on the waiver I emailed them to fill out before the retreat. Married fifteen years with three kids, living just outside the Bay Area. Cole was a workaholic, and over time Tamara grew tired of him working impossible hours and weekends in his hospital executive job and not helping at home with their three kids. They had argued over the issue for years, Cole still kept working while Tamara struggled to keep things afloat at home. When she threatened to leave him, that’s when Cole knew he had to make a change. He had heard about Simon through a friend, and he and Tamara started seeing him for counseling.
“I was just so fixated on money for the longest time,” Cole says. He’s mid-forties but possesses the energy of someone half his age. Everything from the animated way he gestures to the twinkle in his eyes reads young.
“I wanted to earn enough so that we didn’t have to worry. I mean, the Bay Area’s expensive. I know this sounds ridiculous, but I didn’t realize that I was neglecting my marriage and my family so much in the process.” He turns to Tamara, a regretful expression on his face. “When I started cutting back at the hospital and working more reasonable hours, remember what you said? How you told me how much happier you and the kids were to have me home more often and that you didn’t care if we had less money or if we had to move to a smaller house? It was like a light bulb went off in my head at that moment. All those times when you asked me to help more and I chose work instead, I was outright dismissing your feelings. I was dismissing our marriage and our family. It didn’t seem like it to me at the time, but I get it now.”
“I didn’t handle it the best way either,” Tamara says. “I would bite my tongue for weeks on end and just let my frustration bottle up until I was so stressed and so angry that I would snap at you and we’d yell at each other. That wasn’t the right way to deal with it.”
“But I get why you handled it that way, sweetie. I wouldn’t listen when you’d try to bring it up in a calm way. I probably would have done the same. It would all culminate until we were both so frustrated that we’d explode on each other.” Cole scoops Tamara’s hand in his.
Simon compliments them on the physical affection they’re expressing. “It’s huge when couples can go through a tough time and continue to express affection for each other. I want to commend you two for that.”
They practically beam. I quietly note how supportive Simon is with every couple he counsels. He affirms with compliments often, and if someone is being closed-off, he asks questions gently to coax them to open up. His demeanor is so inviting and nonjudgmental.
“When you two have a disagreement now, how do you handle it?” Simon asks. “Are you bringing up the issue as soon as it starts to feel like it could be a problem?”
Tamara nods. “It was so hard to do that at first. My instinct is to avoid rocking the boat. I’m so used to just quietly letting things slide—that’s how I grew up so it was ingrained in me. But I learned that bottling things up just results in those feelings festering until you can’t take it anymore and have an outburst.”
“That’s such an insightful observation, that you’re able to identify the root cause of that behavior. Well done,” Simon says.
“I’ve gotten better about not saying ‘you always do this’ or ‘you never do that’ because now I realize how hurtful that is to hear,” Tamara says. “So instead, I say how I’m feeling, I take ownership of that feeling, and make it clear to Cole that I need his help. I tell him I can feel myself heading toward anger and resentment, but I also make it clear that I’m not there yet. And I won’t get there as long as I feel like he’s supporting me, listening to me, and doing what he can to help out.”
Simon compliments them on the progress they’ve made in their relationship. At the end of the session, I thank them again for letting me document the session for the series.
“We’re happy to,” Cole says.
Tamara nods along, her jet-black bob as polished as the impeccable red lip she sports. “Hopefully it helps more people get on board with the idea of going to couple’s therapy. Goodness knows if we had seen something like this, we might have gone to see a therapist much sooner.”
She excuses herself to return a call to her mom, who’s watching their kids.
