Page 84 of Simmer Down
She winks before looking back down at her phone.
The word “love” hits like a fiery ember to my skin. It’s what unleashes the floodgates. My face twisted, I let out a sob.
Penelope’s eyes go wide. “Oh my... What’s wrong, Nikki?”
I shake my head while holding my hand up, as if to wave her away. It’s the trademark move so many people pull when they’re upset but don’t want to be fussed over. But Penelope stays still, rubbing my arm with her hand.
“It’s okay,” she says. Her stare has flipped from joyful to concerned. “Just take a breath.”
Covering my face with my hands offers only a tad more privacy as I sob out in the open. But I can’t help it. I should be jumping up and down in triumph. I should be texting Mom and Mrs. Tokushige the good news. I should be driving to the nearest bar with Penelope to toast my victory.
But the way my stomach churns, the way my chest aches as if it’s on fire, makes all that impossible. Because there’s only one thought crowding my mind.
I’ve lost Callum forever.
This time when Penelope pulls me in for a hug, it’s gentle. So are her words. “Nikki, what happened?”
When I catch my breath, I tell her everything.
•••
No matter how many times I glance out the kitchen window of my condo, my gaze always goes back to the computer screen. My fingers always type in the same phrase:
Tiva’s Filipina Kusina
The results that pop up on the pages are never the ones I want to see. Nothing about our win at the Maui Food Festival or how good our food is. Just endless comments on Twitter and Instagram about me and Callum. Our secret affair, our very public fight, our very public breakup. It’s only been a day since the festival results were released, and everyone seems to have forgotten that we’re the winners. Instead the topic trending on Maui social media is the disintegration of my and Callum’s secret relationship.
I thought falling into a sobbing pile of tears in front of Penelope yesterday would be my all-time low. How I wish. I hit a whole new low every time I check Tiva’s Twitter or Instagram accounts and read the incendiary comments people leave.
I polish off my glass of beer while eyeing the results page of my latest search. Audio clips of Callum and me lashing out at each other circulate like wildfire. Thankfully, no one was able to get a clear video of the two of us having it out, but the sound they recorded is plenty hurtful. I let myself listen to part of one clip that some newbie food vlogger named @IEatEverything posted, but I muted it halfway through. I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t relive hearing my and Callum’s raised voices, our wrenched words, our private pain on display for strangers to listen to, like some demented heartbreak song played on repeat.
I grit my teeth while scrolling through the endless tweets.
Who knew these two were dating? #mauifoodfestival #foodtruckromance #torridaffair
Someone caught feelings. Hate when that happens #ouch #brokenhearted
I can’t bear to think this British stud is heartbroken. What kind of monster breaks up with a hunk like that? #pickmeinstead
Nikki from @Tivas is an ice queen for leaving that hottie out to dry. Yo, Callum! I love @HungryChaps! Hit me up! I’ll cheer you up!#DTF
My eyes go crossed reading all the declarations of love for Callum and admonishments aimed at me. But they have no clue about our history, our feelings, what we endured. They have no right to make judgments about me or Callum. They don’t know a damn thing about us.
Halfway down the results page, the comments grow even snarkier. My jaw aches with how hard I’m biting down.
Bet they planned this for the publicity. Perfect timing with the #mauifoodfestival. The whole thing screams scripted drama #dontbelievethehype
Two rivals having a secret affair in the run-up to the biggest competition of their careers, then a public breakup?? #manufacturedromance #fake
Public argument + wrenching breakup = free publicity and more business for @HungryChaps and @Tivas, amirite?? #fakeAF
I grip the edge of the counter until my fingers ache, wondering if the Flavor Network, the cosponsor of the Maui Food Festival, has seen any of this. Holding my breath, I make a silent wish that somehow, some way, this major TV network doesn’t have a social media department. Because if they catch wind of any of this, it’s all over. They’ll think Hungry Chaps and Tiva’s conspired together to secure their top finishes, and disqualify us like they did with last year’s champion. I hold in a breath then let it burst out, annoyed withmyself. All the deep breaths in the world don’t make one bit of difference in this disaster.
I close every social media tab, then check my email. A new message pops in my inbox. Someone named Charlotte with a Flavor Network email address. The dread that hits my stomach is instant. I know exactly what this message is going to say even before I read it. I do a half-hearted skim of the text anyway.
...clearly a talented chef who is passionate about food... recent social media activity has alerted us to a possible violation of the Maui Food Festival rules... which is why we regret to tell you that we’re rescinding the prize money and commercial offer...
I blink through the burn in my eyes, but a tear escapes down my cheek anyway. Sniffling, I lift the hem of my shirt and wipe it dry. That’s it. All those months of thinking up new recipes, all the backbreaking days of cooking and prepping, all those hours on my feet, carving out a social media presence... it was all for nothing. Everything Mom and I earned eighteen hours ago is gone.
