Page 34 of If You Never Come Back
“Thank you for inviting me,” I said. “It means everything. And it means even more to know that you want to support me.”
A thunderous beat drop shakes my whole body, pulling me back to the present. I look up and see Mari wink at me as she dances to the frenzied beat of this new song.
“Shay?” A voice calls from behind me.
I spin around and see Colin standing several feet away, eye wide, smiling.
“Holy shit, itisyou!” He walks over to me and pulls me into a hug.
When we break apart, he shakes his head, still beaming.
“Colin! What are you doing here?”
He glances over at Mari. “I’m a huge fan.”His eyes practically dazzle as he stares at her. “My company opened an office in Portland and we renovated this building before they sold it to the concert venue. They gave us free backstage tickets as a thank you for all the work we did. How did you get back here?”
I explain how Mari bought one of my paintings, Instagrammed a photo of it, and how that kicked my art business into fifth gear. He offers a heartfelt congratulations.
“Damn, I almost didn’t recognize you with your hair short now. Looks nice.”
I run a finger along the ends, my face heating when I recall how I decided to chop off most of my hair in a post-breakup stupor.
“I just…needed a change,” I say, my eyes falling to the ground. When I look back up at Colin, I notice he’s gotten a haircut too. “No more shaggy hair?”
“Gotta look more professional now that I’m taking more client meetings at work. I used to get away with looking as shaggy as Bigfoot. That’s what Wes used to say—”
Just the mention of his name sends a lightning bolt to my chest. I try to swallow.
“Shit, I’m sorry, Shay.” He squints with embarrassment. “I wasn’t even thinking—”
“It’s okay. He’s your friend. You can talk about him.”
Colin shakes his head before tugging on the white button-down he’s wearing. “He hasn’t been much of one ever since he took off.”
I bite my tongue, resisting the urge to ask every question that’s been swirling inside of me since the day Wes walked out my door.
Where is he? Does he talk about me? Does he miss me half as much as I miss him?Is he with someone new?
Judging by the pained glance Colin gives me, he can tell exactly what I’m aching to ask.
“I don’t know what got into him, Shay. Honestly.”
“I don’t expect anyone other than him to justify his actions.”
He runs a hand through his cropped sandy brown waves. “I just don’t know what happened to make him bolt like that.”
I contemplate staying silent but talk myself out of it. Colin is Wes’s best friend. He deserves to know what happened with him.
I give him a quick summary of how meeting my entire family spooked Wes into a breakup. When I finish, I take a breath, thankful that I didn’t get emotional. I haven’t spoken about that day in August since sobbing about it to Remy all those months ago.
Colin’s response is a wide-eyed stare. “Damn. It all makes sense now.”
My chest crushes into itself at what he says. But then he reins in his expression and pats my arm. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. It doesn’t excuse how he left. You were the best thing that ever happened to him. He told me so.”
My heart leaps from my chest to my throat. The need to hear what other lovely things Wes said about me is instinctual. But then I remember where I am.
I’m nearly four months past our breakup. Reminiscing about the good old days won’t do me any good. It will just drive the knife in my heart deeper.
I shove aside every urge to ask and shake my head when he tries to speak again.
