Page 51 of Wild Side
Doris’s eyes slice in my direction. “Don’t look at me like that, boy. You get to be my age, and you start telling the truth because you’ve quit worrying about offending people.”
I open my mouth to say… I don’t know what I was going to say to that, but I don’t need to say anything, because Tabitha reaches her free hand out to cup the woman’s elbow. “We thank you for your wisdom, Doris.”
Then my fiancéewinksat her.
My cheeks flame, and I stare at Tabitha, thinking back to that hallway in the shitty bowling alley where she grabbed my dick with all the confidence in the world.
Then I spiral. Thinking about kissing her. Here. In front of all these people.
The past days have been a blur of planning, and the upcoming nuptials have done nothing to lessen the distance between us. Instead of actively disliking each other, the energy between us has shifted into awkward territory. Tolerable, but slightly embarrassed about where we’ve ended up. No doubt, she’s having second thoughts. I’m positive marrying an emotionally stunted, secretive stranger wasn’t on her bucket list.
“Okay, let’s get started.” Doris claps her hands and looks out over the attendees with a slight smirk. “These two lovebirds are so eager to tie the knot that they asked me to keep things simple, but my romantic side got the best of me when I sat down with a gin and tonic to plan this. So the two of you will just have to deal with the vows I’ve written for you.”
Chuckles and drawn-outawwwsfilter in, but I barely hear them over the pounding of my heart. Tabitha’s wide eyes focus on mine. I know she told her the simplest vows possible to keep things easy for us, and here we are with a surprise neither of us wanted.
“Without further ado, I ask that you take each other’s hands and repeat after me…”
Tabitha and I reach for each other at the same time. Her hands are small in my clammy ones. She gives me a reassuring squeeze, and I give her a subtle nod back. Then we repeat after Doris, making promises neither of us knows if we can truly keep.
“I, Rhys, promise you, Tabitha, to always respect and admire you and to appreciate you for who you are, as well as the person you become.”
Her eyes turn glassy.
“I promise that your dreams will be our dreams, and that I will do everything I can to make them a reality for both of us.”
My voice grows gravelly. That one rings just a little too true considering the real reason we’re both here today.
“I promise to be a spectator to your life, a participant in your experiences, and your biggest advocate in every moment. I promise to allow you space to be those things in my life too.”
A heavy stone settles in my stomach as those words hang in the air between us. We both know I haven’t been honest or forthcoming with her. And here we are, promising to be.
“I promise to support and encourage you, laugh with you in times of joy, and comfort you in times of sorrow.”
Laugh. I don’t know that I’ve ever laughed with Tabitha. And have I comforted her? Doris’s words on marriage slice me like little paper cuts, each one making me feel more guilty than the last.
“I promise to cherish and reinforce the love between us in good times and in bad, when life is simple and when it’s complicated—when loving you is easy and when it takes effort.”
My shoulders straighten slightly at that one. It doesn’t feel like such a blatant lie, more like what we’re doing here today. We may not love each other, but this marriage could be called caring for each other when life is not simple. There is nothing simple about Tabitha and me.
I pause before repeating the next line Doris feeds me. It’s another thing we haven’t discussed. I’ve always known what type of husband I would be if the day ever came, but what hits me the hardest is that I don’t know if this vow will ring true for Tabitha. And that thought turns my stomach. It makes me irrationally jealous.
So I narrow my eyes at her and brush a thumb over the top of her hand before saying, “I promise to be faithful to you and to place you and our family above all else.”
Tabitha sucks in an audible breath through parted lips, eyes skittering over my face as though looking for proof that I’m lying.
But I’m not.
With a raspy voice, I carry on, professing things to a woman that I never have before.
“I promise to love you completely and unconditionally, today and every day, and to stand at your side always, wherever life takes us together.”
The last line is bittersweet on my tongue. Sweet because in so many ways, this could be us.
Maybe in another lifetime, those things could be true.
CHAPTER 19
TABITHA
