Page 131 of Wild Love
I feel stronger than I ever have before. Even in my frustration with him I’m finding myself. Drawing lines in the sand for how I will and will not live my life. Good girl Rosie has been replaced with a version of Rosie who knows that life isn’t black and white. That people grow and change and recreate themselves.
There’s no title for this Rosie. It’s just me, stepping into a version of myself that makesmehappy.
I finally have a grip on those tendrils of control I lost somewhere along the way. I can feel them weaving themselves back into my bones. I stand a little taller as the realization works its way through my body.
“How are you doing it?”
I feelgoodas I stare back at Ford. I feel equal to him in a way I never have. Talking about this openly makes me feel like we’re really a team. Agreatone.
“You really want to know?”
I roll my lips together, considering his question. Maybe it’s better if I don’t know every dirty detail. “Give me the abbreviated version. One that doesn’t implicate me.”
He nods firmly and slides his hands into his pockets. I don’t think he even realizes how beautiful he looks right now in the darkened room. The light filtering in from the window gives him an iridescent sort of glow. “I’ve recently started investing heavily in Vancouver real estate.”
My eyes bug out and my chin juts forward. “You’rebuyingthe buildings?”
“It’s a good investment.”
My voice rises in time with my disbelief. “No, it’s not! Those high-rises have got to be worth millions! That’sridiculous.”
I shout and he just smirks. “Tens of millions. Per building.”
All the blood drains from my face.Tens of millions.
“Ford. All this because… You can’t… you can’t spend that kind of money on me! You can’t spend that kind of money on playing games,period. It’s irresponsible. I’m not worth—” I scream at him only to cover for how nauseous I am over the thought of all those zeroes.
“You are worth every fucking penny!” he shouts, arms flung wide. “I’m careful with my money. I’m downright philanthropic. But this? This isn’t a game. I’m in love with you. This is pocket change compared to what I’d be happy to spend on you. There is no price too high to watch this asshole pay for every moment of misery and self-doubt he caused you.”
With two long strides, he’s standing in front of me, body vibrating with rage. His hands land on either side of my neck, forcing me to look at him as his thumbs trace reverently over my jaw.
His eyes glow with intensity as mine fill with tears. “Hear this, Rosie. You are worth every penny. Every fortune. Every investment. Every risk. You are priceless to me.”
One stray teardrop rolls down my cheek when I blink, and Ford watches its slow descent with a sort of fury I’ve seen on his face before. One I’m realizing I’ve misplaced over the years.
I misread Ford’s expressions when I thought I infuriated him.
He was infuriated. But for me. Not with me.
“Do you understand?” He practically growls the words and I dip my chin in agreement, sniffling once.
“I think so.”
I spent a lot of time wondering why the boys in my life never felt an inclination to stand up for me, and now I’m face-to-face with a man who’s made it his mission to do it. Even in the throes of passionate argument he makes me feel more secure than I ever have before.
It’s… overwhelming. It’s heart-rending. It’ssafety.
Our gazes collide, and with one hitched breath, I crash into him. Kissing him. Clutching at the lapels of his jacket with such intense need that it almost hurts.
My chest aches as his lips claim mine, his big hand cradling my head like I’m the most precious thing in the world.
We cling to each other, but it’s not enough. It’s not close enough. Raw enough. I don’t know what to say to him, can’t find the words. All I know is I want to be cocooned in him. In his protection.
It feels like after so many years of going it on my own, working so hard to make something of myself, to stay out of trouble, I have somewhere soft to land. Somewhere I can let the worst, bitchiest, most unlikable, sock-and-sandal-wearing version of myself show and still be loved.
It’s a kind of devotion I’ve never known.
It’s a refuge I never let myself dream of.
