Page 169 of Konstantin
Saying goodbye to someone you love is already hard. Saying goodbye to the person you thought loved you too is even harder.
I needed to do this. To have a proper burial for my brother even when Konstantin didn’t think he deserved it. But he respected my choice, and I’m thankful for that.
The priest’s murmurs drift over me, his words drowned by the rush of thoughts in my mind. He recites verses about eternal rest, about the peace that follows life’s trials. The words should comfort me, but they don’t.
When he finishes, the silence of the graveyard swallows me whole. I gaze down at the casket and the dirt that will soon cover it, and Iwonder if I’ll ever find peace myself.
I never wanted to bury my brother like this, never wanted his memory tied to the pain he caused. But Nate gave me no other choice.
The priest blesses the grave while Konstantin tightens his hold on me, a quiet reassurance that I don’t have to face this alone.
As the mourners begin to leave, saying their goodbyes, I’m left standing with dirt in hand, staring at the grave.
“I’m sorry it ended this way.” I toss the dirt onto the casket before pausing to stare at it for a moment longer.
A lump hits my throat. I hate this. I hate every second of it, and I hate that I had to be the one to kill him, but I had no other choice. It was either him or my baby.
With a sigh, I walk away, returning to my place beside Konstantin.
Riley and Fiona look over at me with tears in their eyes, and when Konstantin notices, he kisses my temple, his lips warmly brushing my skin.
“I’ll give you time to talk.”
“Thanks.”
He steps away, walking toward his brothers and leaving me with the two people who’ve always been there. They haven’t seen me since it all went down, though we have spoken briefly and they were in as much shock as I was.
Riley pulls me into a hug first, her tears soaking into my jacket.
“I’m so sorry, Em,” she whispers. “For Nate. For everything.”
I hold her tight. “Thank you.” I blow out a harsh breath. “I’ll get through it. I always do.”
Fiona steps forward next, her arms wrapping around me. “We’re here for you.” She pulls back just enough to look at me. “No matter what.”
I smile faintly, my heart swelling with gratitude for the two of them. “I know you are.”
There’s a long pause before Fiona clears her throat. Her gaze shiftsto Konstantin, then back to me.
“Are you really staying with him?”
I nod, my smile stretching, my body swelling with the love I have for him. “I am.”
She raises a brow, almost like she doesn’t quite believe it.
“I know, it’s crazy. The old me would never have imagined being married to a mobster, but here we are.” I shrug.
Riley tilts her head, her gaze filled with understanding. “If he makes you happy, then that’s all that matters. Just…try not to die.”
“I’ll work on that.” Laughing softly, I glance over at Konstantin, who’s talking with his brothers. When his eyes meet mine, something in them grips my chest. “He does make me happy.”
I turn my attention back to the conversation. “For so long, I thought I had everything figured out. We were the good guys, they were the bad ones. But things aren’t so black and white anymore, as you two know. There’s a lot of gray in between.”
My hand moves to my stomach, instinctively protecting the child growing inside me.
Fiona and Riley freeze when they catch it, their faces draining of color.
“Oh my God.” Riley presses her palm to her mouth. “You’re pregnant?”
