Page 24 of Playing the Game
She silently shakes her head.
She doesn’t want or need me.
Desperation rushes through me. I’m losing her, and there’s nothing I can do to change it.
CHAPTER 6
DORI
Jami’s hookedup to tubes and monitors. He could die, and he wouldn’t know how I feel about him. My stomach aches as guilt is eating me alive.
I hope you can hear me.
He’s been motionless as I tell him story after story. It’s enough to break me, but I continue with the one I’ve been focusing on.
“That’s when I figured out you owned my heart. I was so jealous you were taking Allison to homecoming. She told all of us girls she was going to take your virginity.”
I run my thumb over the top of his pale knuckles. “It crushed me. I cried for two weeks because I wanted to be her. I wanted us to be each other’s first.”
His heart monitor is on silent, so I peek at it to see if he’s having any reaction to my story. It remains the same, blipping on the screen in a perfect rhythm.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
I’ve been in his room with him since four o’clock thismorning, telling him story after story of times that made an impact on me where he is concerned.
“You brought her over to our house so you could double date with Aiden. I couldn’t bring myself to go downstairs and see you with her, so I watched you from my bedroom window as you got your pictures taken in the backyard.”
I take a minute to remember the scene, and a smile forms. “You were wearing a dark blue suit with a light blue button-down shirt under your suit jacket. Even from my window, I could see how your outfit made your eyes stand out. You looked so sexy. Even more than ever before.”
I quietly laugh. “When my date showed up, I made such a production about it so you would think I was having the time of my life. I didn’t even want to go with him.”
Still no reaction from Jami. Maybe these moments don’t mean anything to him because they’re not about us. I dig deeper to make him feel our connection.
“Do you remember when we were in college and we would sneak out of class to hike around Horsetooth Reservoir? Those were some of my favorite times with you.”
I trail my fingertips over his heart. “I waited for you to kiss me, but you never did. You would stare at me and hold my hand but never kiss me. Why? You admitted you’ve loved me for years. Why didn’t you just tell me?”
I gaze at his face. He seems at peace. I hope that means he’s not feeling any pain.
“If you had told me how you felt about me back then, I would’ve jumped at the chance to be with you. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t want you, but I thought you weren’t interested in me that way. At least that’s what I told myself.”
I move the covers higher so he stays warm. “I should’ve told you I liked you more than a friend, but I wasn’t brave enough. You could’ve rejected me, and that would’ve been tooembarrassing for me. Thinking back on it, I was just an insecure teenager.”
I smooth out the blankets over him. “Maybe you were self-conscious too, but you always seemed to have such confidence. I can’t imagine you were ever unsure of yourself.”
A nurse walks into his room. “Hi. I’m just going to change out his IV bag.”
“Okay.” I sit and wait for her to finish her duties. “Is there anything new I should know?”
“His vitals look good so far. He’s doing better than anyone expected.”
“That’s nice to hear.” I peek down at him. “How long do you think he will be out?”
“He could wake up at any time now. We don’t know for sure when that will be, but he’s responding well to treatment. He probably needs the rest to give his body time to heal.” She hooks a new IV bag to his IV line. “They might have to adjust his pain medication.”
