Page 130 of Playing the Game
“Understandable.” Mel analyzes me for a minute. “I’m giving you props, Dori.”
“Why?”
“In the past, you would’ve said or done whatever you thought would give you what you wanted. You want a futurewith Jami and you’re being responsible by taking his feelings into consideration.”
Warmth consumes me. “Thanks, Mel. That means a lot to me. I’ve been trying so hard to change, and sometimes, I think I’m not making any progress.”
“I’m not saying you should quit therapy anytime soon. You and Jami have a shit ton of things you need to figure out, and you tend to disappear when you get confused.”
I place my sandwich down. “I know. Not only are there my fears around getting pregnant, but I need to figure out what I’ll do if Hunter gets me reinstated.”
She wipes her mouth and puts the napkin in her lap. “You need to do what’s right for you, but I thought you decided to give Jami your all. If you go back to work with Hunter, you’re going to fuck that up.”
“But working there is important to me.” The muscles around my chest squeeze. “I know you don’t think you could do a long-distance relationship, but I think I could.”
“Dori, you can’t be working with Hunter and dating Jami, who’s in another state. It won’t work, and you know it. Decide what you want and stick to it.”
“I love Jami, and I’m not leaving him now that we’re finally together.”
“But if you stay here for your career, your relationship with him will be in jeopardy.”
“It wouldn’t be. We could?—”
“No. Listen to me. One of your complaints about being with Hunter was that he traveled all the time, and you wanted more with the man you married. What makes you think having a long-distance relationship with Jami would be any different?”
My shoulders lower, and I sigh heavily. “I don’t know, but my career is as important to me as having a relationship with Jami. I think I could make it work.”
She places both palms on the table and leans toward me. “Why make it harder than it has to be with him?”
“I’m not trying to do that. I’m just trying to come up with a way that I stay true to myself while being in a relationship with him.”
She leans back. “Do what you need to do, but I’m warning you, a long-distance relationship with Jami won’t work. Especially if you’re working for Hunter.”
“It could.”
“Dori, think about it. If you and Jami have an argument and Hunter catches wind of it, he’ll let you cry on his shoulder. You’ll think he’s being kind and trying hard for you. It will confuse the fuck out of you. You’ll end up right back in the cycle you were in before.”
“You’ve made your point, but?—”
“Before you try to convince me your rationale makes sense, think about how Jami would feel. If you’re hanging out with Hunter, it would bring all of Jami’s insecurities to the surface. And we haven’t even touched on how you would feel if Jami was hanging out with a woman.”
“What makes you believe he would do that?”
“Duh, think about it. He and I are friends, and we hang out without you. You’re only okay with it because you know I would never cross that line.”
My thoughts go back to Jami bringing that up with me. Jealousy swarms in my chest. I’m not sure how I would deal with something like that. I can be sure it wouldn’t be constructive.
My phone beeps, alerting me I have a text. It’s a message from Jami. I smile until I read it.
A strike of anxiety hits me. “Shit.”
“What?”
I peek up at Melanie. “Jami talked to Aiden. I can only imagine how terrible their conversation went.”
Mel’s eyes widen. “Do you think Jami told Aiden about you two?”
“If the angry hummingbirds flying around in my stomach right now are any indication, I’d say yes.”
