Page 97 of Playing For Keeps
My pulse speeds up as my jealousy flares. “You’ve been to his sex clubs?”
Jami swallows hard. Maybe sharing his past with me isn’t what either of us wants.
He bites the corner of his lip before he answers, “I have, but hear me out before you judge.”
I take a calming breath. “Fine, but I don’t want to know the details.”
“Fair enough. That’s not where I was going with this anyway.”
“That’s a good thing.”
“The point is, they were doing an exhibition, teaching people about different things that are offered. I thought Shibari was fascinating, so I started looking into it. Let’s just say there’s a lot more we could explore. And if it’s done right, we could have a lot of fun.”
“Are you saying you want to have sex with other people?”
“No, not at all. Sex clubs aren’t all about that. Sure, they have that there, but they offer things for couples to explore that have nothing to do with sharing.”
My cheeks heat. “Such as?”
“Things we may not think of.” He gazes up for a moment, as though considering it. His eyes come back to mine. “Have you ever heard of tantric breathing?”
“A little, but I don’t really understand it.”
“That’s the stuff I’m talking about. I only want our sex life to include me and you, but there are so many other things out there we could try. It doesn’t have to be wild or an everydayoccurrence. Just something we add when we want to spice it up.”
I fiddle with the edge of the blanket that’s around me. “Do you think sex with me is boring?”
His eyes go wide, and he pulls me into his chest. “Not at all. I think it’s mind blowing. The best I’ve ever had.”
“Then why add more to it when we’ve only been together for a short while?”
“We don’t have to do more. I just brought it up because seeing you tied up and handing your trust over to me, knowing I’d take care of you, made me feel connected to you in a way I can’t explain.”
“So because you feel close to me, that’s why you want to do things like that?”
“Exactly. There’s a lot of trust that goes into a Shibari session, and we need to communicate a lot during the process. I love having that connection with you. Plus, you look hot as fuck tied in ropes.”
I laugh and push out of his arms. “But you like having control in the bedroom, right?”
“I do.”
“Why?”
“It goes back to trust. If you give me control, you trust me. When I listen to you and stop when you use your safe word, you learn to trust me more. The truth is, you’re the one with all the power in the situation, and that’s a spectacular gift when you hand it over to me.”
“Hmm. I’ve never thought about it that way.” I glance down to hide my heated cheeks. “It’s interesting. I like knowing you enjoy it because I have power over you.”
He lifts my chin with two of his fingers. “There’s nothing wrong with admitting that. It’s exciting. And I’m sure a little liberating for you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve always struggled to trust yourself with what you want and how you feel. Stepping into the part of yourself that holds all the power can help you in other parts of your life just by simply owning it.”
I let that statement linger in my mind as I snuggle up to Jami’s side. Maybe he’s right. I would like to own my power and trust myself more. It’s fascinating that awareness came from having sex and discussing Jami’s interests in the bedroom.
He twists to find my eyes. “Did that just come across as mansplaining?”
“No. Why?”
