Page 96 of Playing For Keeps
I coil into myself. “Yes, that’s why I brought it up. I don’twant to ruin what we have between us, but this thing with Aiden and my job are eating me up. I need a resolution.”
He stands and takes me in his arms. “Let’s focus on one thing at a time. I want you to be happy, so that means I’ll help any way I can.”
He holds me as the silence surrounds us. It’s not him and our life together that has me feeling down. It’s the fact I have nothing to show for myself. I think about what my therapist would say, and a thought about tonight comes to mind.
I pull away and gesture to the bed. “Can we sit and talk for a while?”
“Of course.” He gets situated, leaning against the headboard. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”
I crawl to the center of the bed next to his elongated legs. “I’m sorry I called Hunter today. My intention wasn’t to restart anything with him. I was thinking about how to get the money back to him, and I used that as an excuse.”
“Why haven’t you told me about the money until now?”
“I want to give it back. There’s no way I’m keeping it. I already feel like I owe him something by having it, and I hate it.”
“And he refuses to take it back?”
“Yes.” I growl in frustration. “Do you think you could help me come up with a plan on how to return it?”
“Sure. I need a minute to think about it, but we’ll come up with something.” He reaches over and rubs my knee. “Before I focus on that, I need to know something.”
“What?”
He tilts his head, his gaze swirling with questions. “Honestly, are you happy here?”
I take a moment to consider that seriously. My mood has nothing to do with being here or being with him. It has everything to do with how my life looks a lot like my mom’s did at my age. I visibly shudder at the thought.
His expression falls. “It’s okay. I understand.”
“No. My reaction had nothing to do with you. I was just thinking how much my life resembles my mother’s life at this age. I can’t be like her.”
Relief washes over him. “So we’re okay?”
“We’re more than okay. I just worry if I don’t change something now, I’ll push you away. When I hung up with Hunter, I felt guilty immediately. It was a wake-up call that if I don’t get my shit together, I’m going to mess up this relationship.”
He nods and squeezes my leg. “I’m sorry you’re lonely. I’ll do better to make sure we go out and meet people.”
“Thanks, but I need to find things to do on my own. I’ve been focusing on my job and Aiden, so I haven’t been in the mood to socialize.”
“That’s understandable, but I still want to take you out more. We live in a beautiful city, and I’ve yet to take you for a night out on the town.”
My laugh barrels out. “Jami, you hate going clubbing. You’d rather stick forks in your ears.”
He shrugs as a smile creeps from the corners of his mouth. “You’re not wrong, but I have a contract with the best hospitality group in the world. The least I could do is take you to one of their clubs.”
I envision Melanie and me dancing as Jami and his friends talk business on the sideline. Excitement bubbles up in me. I can’t deny I could use a night out with them, living it up and letting go of my heavy emotions.
“You’re right. When I get back from Denver, take me out. But make sure Melanie goes with us.”
“Done. I’ll make it a night you won’t forget.” His eyes fill with desire. “Maybe on one of our dates, I could take you to one of Mateo’s sex clubs.”
My mouth falls open. “I’m not sure I’m up for something like that. Melanie would be. Me, I’m not so sure.”
“Let me ask you something. Did you enjoy what we did tonight?” Jami studies me like he’s searching for my soul.
“I did. Why?”
“You asked me earlier what attracted me to Shibari, and we got sidetracked. But I want to explain it to you. I stumbled onto it at one of Mateo’s clubs.”
