Page 127 of Playing For Keeps
She stares down the hallway as they leave.
I slide up behind her and run my hands up and down her arms. “Dori, I’m sorry you had to walk in on that.”
She turns to face me. “Why would you be sorry?”
I step beside her and close the door. “Walking in here and seeing me holding a newborn couldn’t have been easy. I’m aware of the timing of it all. It’s a little too close to home.”
“The timing…?”
The second my words register, her face pales, and she lowers her head. I reach out for her, but she flinches.
“Dori, let me be here for you.”
Her gaze darts around my face. “You must think I’m a terrible person.”
“Why would I think that?”
“I didn’t make that correlation. What does that say about me?”
I soften my tone. “Nothing. You just haven’t thought about your miscarriage.”
“Butyoudid. It’s right there in the front of your mind.” She backs away from me as if she’s about to run for her life.
I stay where I am so she won’t flee. “I only thought about it because I knew they were bringing their baby in to show her off. There’s nothing about today that makes you a bad person.”
“How can you say that? It was your child, and I forgot. That can’t feel good to know.” She fakes a sorrow-filled laugh. “If you did this to me, I don’t think I’d forgive you.”
“Dori, it’s not like that. And I don’t think anything negative about today. If anything, I want to help you through this.”
“Why? It’s not like I’ve put your feelings first.”
“My feelings aren’t?—”
“They count just as much as mine.” She raises her eyebrows to challenge me.
“Okay, they matter, but that’s not the issue right now.”
“Right, because you always put me first. Today must have brought up painful emotions for you too, but you’re just going to skirt right over those.”
“Dori…”
She shakes her head to stop me from saying anything. We stare at each other in silence. Only the hum of the air conditioner fills the space.
I tilt my head and take down my defenses. “How can I make this better for you?”
“You can’t.” Her eyes well with tears.
Before I have a chance to respond, she spins, whips the door open, and disappears from my sight.
My heart breaks. I knew her seeing a baby would stir up a reaction in her, but pushing me away is the last thing that will help. She needs me.
I grab my keys off my desk and chase her down. When I reach her, she’s climbing into her car, shaking, with tears streaming down her cheeks.
I place my hand on the top of her car door so she can’tshut it and drive away. She hangs her head, so I crouch to find her gaze.
“Don’t run from this, Dori. You know it doesn’t work when you do. This issue is not going away, and being alone won’t help. We’re partners, so let me be here for you.”
“I know. I don’t want to run away from you, but how can you look at me?” She wipes tears away with her fingertips. “Jami, how could I forget?”
