Page 93 of Playing With Secrets
“Then she decided she’ll never find that perfect one for her, which is what I believe. She’s always searching, but I don’t think she believes he’s out there.” I toss an olive in my mouth and think back to that night.
Everything would have been different if I had told Dori that Chuck was sick and in the hospital. She never would’ve been with Hunter. This situation is all by my hands.
My stomach tightens, and I twist off my stool and go to the wine fridge. “Do you want more wine?”
“Um…sure, but did you hear a word I just said?” Her annoyance is clear.
I glance over my shoulder and find a very perturbed woman who wanted my full attention, but I didn’t give it to her. It’s not like me to do that, so I stop and address it.
“I’m sorry. I should’ve been listening because we were having a great conversation. When that night got thrown intothe topic, my mind just went there. If I would’ve called you that night or told you when we were together…” I shake my head, wishing I could change it all.
Her lips roll between her teeth, and she nods. We stay like this for about ten seconds before we both say something over the other.
“I’m sorry, Dori. It’s all my fault,” I say.
At the same time, she says, “I should’ve let you explain.”
Something about that moment lets it all fall away. We smile at each other and release any guilt or shame. For whatever reason, it was supposed to happen the way it did.
I knock on the counter three times and go back to the fridge. “Now, back to the wine and why Mel suddenly decided there’s no man out there for her.”
“That’s not what’s going on. She wants a serious relationship, but she’s scared she’ll get hurt, so she’s acting like she doesn’t want anything.” Dori goes to the refrigerator. “What do you have in here I can make for dinner? I’m hungry for a meal.”
She’s shuffling around inside the fridge as I pick out another bottle of wine. I catch a glimpse of her as I place the bottle on the counter to uncork it. Something about her makes me stop in my tracks.
My heart balloons, and I know I want this every night for the rest of my life. Great conversation and spending time together, just enjoying our connection.
There’s no doubt she’s my person, but am I hers? Instead of getting lost in the fear of it all, I allow myself to dream. Dream of a life where she and I can be together and be both friends and lovers.
“What is this?” She holds out a deli-wrapped item.
I force myself back into the moment. “Those are scallops. I got them on the way home, so they’re still fresh.”
“They won’t pair well with the wine you picked out.” She gestures to the bottle I’m holding.
“I have white wine, but you said you wanted red. I have steaks in there too, so it’s your choice.”
She moves back and searches for something in the fridge. “Got it. We’re having scallops, baby tomatoes, and asparagus spears, so change the bottle out for white.”
A smile invades my face as I do as she says. “I’m going to need some carbs, so let’s add some angel hair pasta with a garlic sauce, and we’ll be set.”
“I got the point earlier, Jami. The garlic sauce isn’t needed, but since you insist, no more kisses for you.” She sings the last part as she rummages through my cabinets, looking for cookware.
We spend the next two hours enjoying being how we used to be. Friends who have an intense attraction to one another.
No, it’s more than that. We love each other, but it’s forbidden for now, just like it has been for years.
“Tell me why you’re in that outfit.” I grab a pan for the scallops.
“I was craving a Frappuccino and dumped it all over myself on the way here. These were the only things I had in my car.” She glances down. “I had some items I was giving to charity. These were in that bag. I changed my clothes parked in the alley behind your building.”
“That would’ve been a sight to see.” I hold in a laugh. “Let’s get dinner ready.”
As much as I’d like to say I do my best to keep my attraction to her at bay, I don’t. I purposely run into her as we are cooking and hold her hips when I do.
Any chance I get, I put my hands anywhere I can justify. It’s both heaven and hell, but it’s everything we need.
We flirt through dinner while pretending the innuendos we’re both lying down go unnoticed. She laughs freely at my jokes and feeds me bites of her food even though I have some left on my plate.
