Page 68 of Playing With Secrets
Mel glances my way. “Really? What were you guys talking about?”
“I was asking why he gets so triggered when I walk away from him during a fight. He wouldn’t answer the question and started escalating. There’s something there, but he won’t share it with me.”
“Why push him to talk about that when you want to end it with him?” She finishes messing with the flowers and stares at me.
“It’s the same problem as always. I get around him and I fall right back to wanting to get closer. He’s tried with me and a part of me feels like I owe it to him to give him another shot.”
“Not a good idea, my dear.”
“I love him, Mel, but not like I do Jami. I love Hunter for loving me and trying so hard. He’s trying to be a good man for me. Jami, on the other hand… I just love.”
“I’m going to say it again. You can’t keep doing this to them. Figure it out once and for all because when you juggle both, things get really fucked up.” She gives me a motherly look.
“I know. I’ve been on a teeter-totter with them, going between two worlds. It’s not fair to either of them.” I glance down to hide my shame. “I’m responsible for one hell of a toxic dynamic between us all.”
“Don’t beat yourself up. Just fix it.” She tilts her head and gives me a once-over. “You had the weekend to think about it. So, what’s your plan? Because the one is going to lose his shit when he realizes your heart is with Jami.”
“I thought about it all weekend. I love them both in very different ways, but when I heard Jami and you talking about leaving, my heart had an instant void. In therapy, we discussed why. It opened up everything I’ve shared with you today.”
“I’m going to push you a little because you tend to get confused. What would you do if Hunter moved?”
“That’s the thing. I would miss him, but he travels all the time. I’ve learned to be with him in spurts. I don’t want that with the man I marry.” I shake my head. “Even when he flies me away for weekend getaways, he works half the day.”
“Is there anything that would stop you from going forward with Jami?”
“The obvious thing is he still has to forgive me. He needs to want something to happen between us. If he ever gets there, then we’d have to deal with Aiden. The bigger issue is children.”
“Don’t forget dealing with the aftermath with Hunter.”
“Don’t remind me. The good news is it’ll take a while for Jami to forgive me. If he does and he’s open to dating me, his time here would be coming to an end or completed.”
“And what about Hunter?”
“I’m not sure how he would act with me, but my heart says he wouldn’t be an asshole.” I lean over and arrange the flowers again.
“It sounds like your choice is made. Now you just have to stick with it and quit waffling.”
“I know and I plan on it, but I don’t know how to do it.”
She plops down in the chair. “Do you want my advice or just an ear to vent to?”
“Advice, please. As long as it isn’t about dating someone new.” I join her in the seating area.
“In that case, go forward with conviction. Otherwise, you’ll be a selfish bitch who enjoys watching the men she loves be tortured.”
Someone knocks on the door and I tell them to come in. The door opens and Hailey comes into view, standing beside a stunning brunette with hypnotizing hazel eyes.
Hailey steps in with the woman following. “Sorry tointerrupt. This is Isabella Carter. She’d like to speak with you.”
Melanie excuses herself as I stand and greet the woman.
“I’m Dorothy Fisher, but you can call me Dori. Please come in and take a seat.” I point to the chairs.
Hailey and Melanie leave the room as Isabella takes a seat in a chair. I sit next to her and turn to address her. She crosses her legs, and I can’t help but notice her long, lean legs. They’re amazing.
“What can I do for you, Isabella?”
She smiles with a mysterious twinkle in her eyes. “I wanted to have a conversation with you and get to know you. Hunter and I know each other, and I thought we should meet.”
