Page 30 of Playing With Secrets
That was the strangest response I've ever heard.
The mattress dips as I push myself up. I tilt my head, studying her every move. “What did you just remember? And what does that have to do with why we can’t have sex?”
CHAPTER 8
DORI
Hunter staresme down like I just pointed a gun at his chest. I shake my head as I step back with the ache from today pushing against my lungs.
“I got carried away. It’s not that I don’t want this because I do.” I point to my bathroom. “It’s just that I’m on an antibiotic for the UTI. I’m not supposed to engage in sex until it’s gone.”
“And how long will that be?” He scowls at the bathroom.
My blood swishes through my ears as it pumps wildly through my veins. I can’t tell him I’m supposed to wait at least two weeks before I can have sex again. He’ll lose his mind and have a million questions.
I make a quick decision. What I’m about to do is a better distraction anyway. I’m done feeling sorry for myself. It’s time to say fuck off to everything and take matters into my own hands.
Goodbye to thinking about the future consequences and dealing with a garbled ball of confusion that has me straddling two worlds with two different men.
I’ve already crucified the relationship I’ve been hoping for most of my life. There’s no reality in this lifetime where Jamiand I get the happy ending we deserve. He’s off dating a bunch of women, so I need to let him go.
I only remind him of things that cause him pain. He deserves to find someone who’s good for him—a woman who hasn’t dragged him through hell.
This life with Hunter is the one I’m supposed to be in. The universe keeps showing me and it’s time I pay attention to the signs. He’s been patiently waiting for me.
He loves me and will give me anything I want. Well, almost everything, but it’s my choice to lock the hope of having children away in a faraway dungeon where no one will ever want to visit.
Now all that’s left standing in our way is the clause in my contract. And that’ll be taken care of when I do what he suggested long ago and marry him. They can’t fire me if I do.
I sway back to the bed, forcing all my pain of today into a compartment that will remain locked and buried.
His eyes find mine, still shining with desire. “What do you have in mind, beauty? I know that look, and it’s not one where you’re thinking about antibiotics.”
“Sit on the edge of the bed and I’ll show you instead.” I take his hands in mine and pull him to the side of the bed as I descend to my knees.
My eyes remain locked with his. I feather kisses along his defined, toned thighs while taking him firmly in my hand.
I pump his shaft and it grows harder in my hand, showing me how much he admires me. His body speaks of the appreciation he has for me, and it’s something I so desperately need.
He’s the only one who can fulfill this hole in me because I’ve mutilated any craving Jami would ever have for me. I’ve stripped him of the ability to appreciate and admire me if we were ever to be this way again.
I took something from him that night and then again today. Something I can never give back. A piece of his fleshand blood, a child, a part of the family he hopelessly yearns for. Something I’ll never be able to give him.
Jami deserves to find someone who can give him everything. Someone he can adore and not be reminded of all the torture and never-ending pain she’s laid upon him when he looks into her eyes.
Yes, it’s time I let him go like he begged me to do in Denver. I’m nothing but a dreadful memory.
And now that those remaining ties are severed, he’s free to find the love I can’t give him. A love that can give him a child.
I blink away the future with Jami and shine my dreams toward Hunter. He’s my future because despite all the hell I’ve put him through, he doesn’t look at me like I’ve killed a part of him.
He’s good and forgiving. He’s the one who fits with me. There’s nothing stopping us now, and I’ll let him know soon. But first, I want to show him all he means to me.
I pump his cock harder as I kiss around his balls. I lick and run my tongue over his skin, peeking up in lusty want.
“When you look at me like that, I think I’m going to explode.” He runs his hand over the back of my head. “I love you so much.”
God, I needed to hear that.
