Page 50 of Playing A Risk
He scratches the back of his head. “Well, where do I begin?”
“How about with whatever has you acting like someone died.”
He swallows and holds onto the wood frame of the poster bed. “After seeing how much Jamison hurt you over withholding his life, I want to come clean about what I’ve done. I don’t want any more secrets between us, so I’m ready to tell you everything.”
The ground opens up. I’m teetering on the edge of the abyss, about to fall in. “Okay, now I’m really freaking out.”
He hands me his phone. My face bunches up. “Why are you showing me your phone?”
“Do you remember when you asked me if I was following you?”
I brace myself. “Yeah…”
“Well, I wasn’t, but I did have your Share My Location app activated on my phone, so I knew where you were.”
A wildfire of anger flares through my core. “You did what?”
“Dorothy, before you slap me, hear me out.” He steps back.
“No, Hunter. That is such a violation of my privacy.” I spin away and then spin right back. “How the fuck do you even do that?”
“I called you one night and you had left your phone behind. I didn’t know where you were, so I activated it then.” He runs his hands through his hair. “You would disappear and go silent on me at times. I was worried about you.”
“Worried? No. That was sneaky and wrong.”
He bites his lip and nods. “I know that now. If you look in my phone, you’ll see I deactivated it. I no longer have any ability to track you.”
“Good God, Hunter. I have half the nerve?—”
“Please don’t shut down or leave. Be pissed off and let me have it, but know I’m trying to be better. I have issues from my past that give me panic attacks when I can’t find someone. It’s one of the reasons I chase after you when you run out on me.”
What?
After all this time, he’s finally letting me in.
My neck loosens and my defenses lower a little. “What are these issues?”
“When I was ten, my mother walked out on us.” His voice goes quiet. “She was going to leave without telling us, but I stumbled onto her as she was stepping out the door with her suitcases in tow. She told me goodbye and not to worry about her anymore.”
My heart shatters for him. “Hunter. I’m so sorry.”
His eyes swim in a sea of unbearable pain. “I begged her, Dorothy. I held onto her legs and tried to make her stay.”
Compassion fills my every cell. “Oh my god. I had no idea.”
“That’s why I chase you. I hate having no control over what happens. I panic, and that’s why I tracked you. I know it’s wrong, but my therapist asked me to consider the possibility that I’m repressed in that area.
“She thinks I made those mistakes with you because I was acting like a ten-year-old, trying to change the outcome of what happened with my mother.”
It makes so much sense.
I hurry to him and give him a hug. “Why didn’t you tell me this before? If I had known, I wouldn’t have acted that way with you.”
He shakes his head in the crest of my neck and holds me like he’ll die if I let go.
When his rapid breathing returns to normal, he steps out of my embrace. “I’m sorry. I promise I’ll never do those things to you again.”
I try to put him more at ease with the situation. “Well, I might check your phone on demand, but if I find nothing, we should be good.”
