Page 30 of Playing A Risk
Will I ever know for sure?
Trying to drown out my unsteady emotions from earlier, I’m in my home office going through computer work when I come across her new email instructions. Right above that is an email from Isabella. My insides tighten just thinking about her.
She’s going to tell Dorothy about staying here. I can see it in her eyes when she’s around. Anytime I look at Dorothy in Isabella’s presence, Isabella dials in on it like she can see what others can’t—I’m desperately in love with Dorothy.
“Knock, knock.” Dorothy steps into the room, wearing the white silk pajama set I got for her. She’s breathtaking.
I rest back in my chair and take a second to drink her in. “Hey there. I’m surprised you’re still awake.”
“I couldn’t get comfortable, so I came to see if we could talk.”
“Talk away.” I gesture to the chairs in front of the fireplace and get up to join her. “I hope that pajama set you’re wearing isn’t why you’re having trouble falling asleep. If it is, I can have Katy pick up some different ones.”
“No. They’re really comfortable. I didn’t know they made booty shorts and tank tops in silk. It seems extravagant, but I love silk, so thank you.” Dorothy sits in the chair across from the one I’m getting into. “I couldn’t sleep because of our conversation outside.”
“I see.”
“You were right about us.”
“Help me out because I’m not sure I know the truth about us anymore.” My stomach burns, but it’s how I’m feeling and she needs to know.
She reaches up and takes out her hair tie. Her thick waves cascade over her shoulders and I have to turn away. She’s so beautiful. That innocent move just about did me in.
“Please don’t doubt what we had, Hunter. I did love you. That wasn’t something you made up in your head.”
Did?
Well, there’s my answer. I shift and rest over my legs. I’m not sure how many more blows I can take from her tonight. Every time she speaks, she knocks me out with her words.
Why does loving her hurt this much?
“Thanks, Dorothy—for letting me know when you loved me, it was real. I’ll remember that when I think back on our relationship.” I stand, hoping for a reprieve from the despair drowning me, and step toward my desk. “It’s getting late, so if you don’t mind, I have more work to do.”
She jumps out of her chair and grabs my forearm. I peer down at her hand, wanting to carry her down the hall to her bedroom. If I could make love to her, she’d remember how she used to feel about me and how good we were together before Jamison came into the picture.
“Hunter, wait. I’m sorry. I’m not saying anything right tonight. My mind is still messed up. I promise I’ll do better and think about what I’m saying so I don’t hurt you.”
I find her gaze and nod. It’s all I can do.
“That’s why I need time alone. When I’m this hurt and confused, I say all the wrong things.” She squeezes my arm. “Please talk to me. Don’t make me wonder what you’re thinking or feeling.”
“Why do you care? You’ve made yourself clear you were planning a life with Jamison.”
I rub my aching heart. “When you slept with him, we had only been broken up for a short while.”
“True.”
“When you were deciding to have your little family, we had only been apart for just over a month. And half of that time, I thought we were trying to make it work between us. Stop me if I’m getting my facts wrong, but I’m trying to find where I misunderstood.”
She lowers her head. “You didn’t misunderstand. All that’s correct.”
“And you were only with me because I threatened to end the career of the man you really love. Forgive me for not wanting to participate in any conversation about how you were deceiving me about the future we could’ve had. I get it, beauty. I’m not the one you love, and I won’t fight that fact anymore.”
Her head snaps up, her eyes wild in panic. “Hunter, I never said that.”
“Are you sure? Because I just heard you say, and I quote, ‘Don’t doubt what wehad. Ididlove you.’ Unless I misunderstood that, I’m not sure there’s much more to discuss. I won’t compete against a man you’ve held on a pedestal for years. And even after what he’s done, you still do.” Just saying those words, some of my angst lifts.
She stares at me, blinking away heavy tears that sit on the edge of her eyelashes. “I’m going to let him go. No matter what he did to me, I still love him, but that doesn’t change the fact I love you too.”
