Page 29 of Never Die for a Sinner
Not at all.
“Yeah. Haven’t had a sip.”
Listen . . . I know therapists are supposed to help, but I can handle my own problems. Whether I tell him the truth or not, I’ll still be lying awake tonight thinking about them.
There’s not a doctor in the world who could make sense of the shit in my head. Fuck, I can’t even do it, and I’ve been stuck in it for twenty-seven years.
“And your family? How have things been going there?”
“Good. All is well.”
Proctor sets his notebook down on his lap and clasps his hands in front of him expectantly. I don’t like the way he looks at me. Like he can read my thoughts before I even know what they are.
Like he can pick out my lies faster than a bee can find honey.
“Levi . . .” he starts, and I can feel the dad-speech coming before it even leaves his lips. “Life is honest. It’s brutal and unforgiving. It’s harsh, but it also forces us to be truthful with ourselves in the end. The truth isn’t meant to be easy, and I think you and I both know you’re avoiding it.”
Fuck.
I glance at the clock. Another five minutes have passed. I thought for sure it felt like ten.
“Why don’t we start with the basics?” Proctor resumes, opening his notebook and scribbling something down. “Why don’t you tell me something easy. Like your childhood?”
I chuckle under my breath.
This fucker has no idea.
“It sucked,” I shrug. “Not much else to tell.”
“Why don’t you walk me through your family? How many siblings did you have?”
“Three.”
“And they are . . .?”
“Two boys and a girl.”
“And you?”
“And me,” I nod. I don’t know why the fuck it matters. I don’t see Christian sitting beside me. Or Bella. Sebastian’s only fortunate that he doesn’thavethat opportunity.
“So, we have a mother and a father, three boys and a girl . . .” Again, I nodded. “How did that work out?”
Jesus, this is painful.
“I don’t know. Like any other family, I guess.”
“What is your happiest memory from back then?”
When Mom kicked Dad out for a week, and he wasn’t there to fuck with me.
“Mom sneaking me out at night to go to this all-night family diner.”
“And what would you order there?”
“Is that relevant?”
“Everything we discuss here is relevant, Levi.”
