Page 144 of Never Die for a Sinner
He’s silent, staring up at the ceiling for a long time.
“Before you . . . No.”
My heart breaks for him, and just like that, there’s a rush of strange emotions swirling through me that I can’t fight. The knowledge that he’s not as bad as he wants to pretend he is. That maybe, the big bad wolf has just been misunderstood his entire life and needs someone to show him that not everyone’s going to hurt him.
I rise, and he reaches for me, almost instinctually, and I smile softly. His brows draw together in confusion when I roll to my other side and pull his arm tightly around me. He stiffens for a moment but rolls over, his arm around my waist, the other under my neck, while he cradles me close.
I feel his lips at the top of my head, and finally, he relaxes around me, burying his face in the side of my neck. I don’t miss the quiet inhale, like he’s been starved for my scent as much as I have been for his.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, after a long time. His voice is so quiet, I barely hear it.
Tears sting in the backs of my eyes because I know what it’s like to hide behind anger, because the pain is too much.
“Don’t mention it.”
AVA
Four days after my head cold, I’m finally feeling better. I can breathe without feeling like the air is trying to kill me, and I use my time to catch up on all the housework I’ve skipped out on—under Levi’s orders, of course.
He’s spent the last few days force-feeding me soup and lying around in bed with me when he’s not working or whatever it is he does all day. He’s even taken to watching trash TV with me when I’m trying not to pass out at night. Neither of us mentions the contract, Alex, or even the mystery man following me, and for once, things seem strangely calm.
I can’t deny that it feels almost too domestic for Levi and me.
Like yesterday, when he took me shopping for new clothes.
—Then he fucked me in the dressing room with his hand over my mouth and his rough voice growling in my ear.
Or when he took me to finally replace Judith—rest her soul. We christened my brand-new SUV on the way home on a dirt road while it poured down rain outside.
There are other things, too. Like when he takes me to the shower and washes my hair at night. After, he pulls me to bed and wraps me in his arms. It’s like there’s a part of him that doesn’t want to let me go, and I’m spiraling because I have no idea what I’m doing.
He hasn’t had a nightmare since we’ve been sleeping together, but it’s because he drinks to chase them away. I worry about him because I see the way his hands shake sometimes. I want to help him, but I have no idea how.
With each passing day, I find myself growing more and more attached to him, and it’s starting to become a problem I can’t ignore.
Even now, as I make my way down to the security shed, I find myself dreading the hours until I can get back to him, even though I just saw him this morning. It’s absolutely maddening.
The Oak Ridge Lodge has ample security, mainly due to its high-dollar clientele. Today, though, the shack is dark and empty when I step inside, the only sound the hum of machines and the typing of Alex’s fingers on the keyboard in front of him.
I feel guilty, after the way I left the other night, and because I haven’t spoken to him all week with my cold.
He doesn’t look up when I knock, stopping at the edge of his desk. It feels strange to be here. I’ve never been inside, and I hadn’t realized just how many cameras were located around the grounds of the lodge and Cross Estate.
Oddly enough, my cheeks heat to a thousand degrees when I wonder just how many of those cameras are hidden outside on the paths through the forest.
“Hey, you,” I greet, offering him a smile.
Alex doesn’t look in my direction, and his shoulders tense. He doesn’t stop typing away, and I resist the urge to snap at him for being rude.
Great.
“Sorry, I didn’t come down to see you. I’ve been sick.”
Again . . . no response.
Fine.
“Look, I know you’re probably mad I left with Levi that night—”
