Page 56 of The Promises We Broke
The question hung in the air between us, and I stared blindly out the window, not wanting to see the look on Blake's face. Somewhere out there, Gage was probably lying awake too, staring at his own ceiling, thinking his own thoughts.
"I don't know how to find out without risking everything," I admitted.
"Maybe that's what love is," Blake said softly. "The willingness to risk everything for the possibility of something real."
That night, I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, Blake's words echoing in my mind. But every time I tried to imagine taking that risk, tried to picture myself vulnerable and open and trusting again, my chest tightened with familiar panic.
I'd told Gage we could try being friends, and I'd meant it. But friendship felt like standing on the edge of a cliff, knowing thatone wrong step would send me tumbling back into feelings I wasn't sure I was strong enough to handle.
Maybe it was better to keep watching from the observation window. To care about his recovery from a distance.
Some relationships were meant to stay in the past, no matter how much they'd once meant to us.
But as I finally drifted toward sleep, I couldn't shake the image of his smile when he'd seen me at the window. Couldn't forget the way he'd waved like I was exactly what he'd been hoping to see.
Maybe some risks were worth taking after all.
Chapter 19
Billie
"Absolutely not," I said, staring at Blake like she'd suggested I take up cliff diving as a hobby. "I'm not talking about my feelings at a real girls' night."
"That's exactly why we need girls' night," Blake replied, pulling into Delaney's driveway behind Reece's truck and Emma's sedan. "You've been bottling everything up for weeks. It's not healthy."
Through the farmhouse windows, I could see warm light and moving figures, the other women already settled in for an evening of wine, gossip, and the kind of honest conversation that happened when women gathered without men around to complicate things.
"They're all going to have opinions," I said weakly.
"They're all going to have wine," Blake corrected. "Which makes their opinions infinitely more entertaining."
Five minutes later, I was perched on Delaney's couch with a glass of her homemade hard cider, surrounded by the womenwho'd somehow become my found family without me realizing it. Emma was curled up in the armchair by the fireplace, her flower shop apron replaced by comfortable jeans and a soft sweater. Reece had claimed the other end of the couch, her feet tucked under her and her wild hair caught up in a messy bun. And Delaney moved between kitchen and living room like the perfect hostess, making sure everyone had drinks and snacks and not looking like she'd had a baby only a month ago.
"So," Emma said without preamble, "are we going to talk about the elephant in the room, or are we going to pretend Billie hasn't been pining over Gage Farrington for the past month?"
Heat flooded my cheeks. "I haven't been..."
"Honey," Reece interrupted gently, "you've been avoiding him at every possible sign of potential interaction. In a town this small, that's basically a declaration of love."
"Or a declaration of cowardice," I muttered.
"Same thing, when it comes to matters of the heart," Delaney said, settling beside Reece with her own glass of cider. Despite being a new mom she looked radiant, and lacked the dark circles under her eyes that always seemed to grace my face. "Trust me, I spent months convinced I was protecting myself from Trace when I was really just punishing us both."
"That's different," I protested. "You and Trace have history, but you also had Cade to think about. I'm just..."
"Just what?" Blake asked. "Just in love with a man who looks at you like you're the answer to every prayer he's ever whispered?"
"He doesn't..."
"Billie." Emma's voice was firm but kind. "I saw you two at the farmer's market three weeks ago. You were pretending to look at my flowers while he was pretending to examine produce two stalls over, and you spent the entire time stealing glances at each other like teenagers. It was adorable and painful to watch."
I took a large sip of cider, hoping the alcohol would calm my nerves. "It's complicated."
"It's not," Blake said, echoing her words from the other night. "You're scared."
"Of course I'm scared!" The words exploded out of me before I could stop them. "He left once without explanation. He spent eleven years radio silent. What if he decides he can't handle small-town life again? What if he gets bored? What if..."
"What if he doesn't?" Delaney interrupted softly. "What if he's exactly who he appears to be now? A man who made a mistake, learned from it, and is trying to build a life here with the people he loves?"
