Page 3 of The Promises We Broke
There was relief in Xander's voice when he spoke again, but underneath it I could hear the weight of worry he was carrying. "Thank you. God, Billie, thank you. I don't know what... We've been looking for him for so long, trying to bring him home, but not like this. Never like this."
We talked for a few more minutes about logistics. Xander would bring Gage home as soon as the doctors cleared him for transport. I'd need to review his medical records, prepare a treatment plan, probably coordinate with his doctor if surgical follow-up was needed. Normal, professional conversations that helped mask the emotional chaos happening underneath. He was early in his treatment, his prognosis could change by the time Xander arrived in Portland, hopefully for the better, but things could always get worse.
After we hung up, I sat in my office staring at the phone in my hands. Outside, the late spring evening was settling into dusk, painting everything in shades of gold and shadow. Through my window, I could see the lights starting to come on in the main house at the ranch, could picture Booker and Reece leaning oneach other while they dealt with the reality of this heartbreaking situation.
My hands were shaking.
I looked down at them, these steady, competent hands that had guided countless patients through their recovery, and watched them tremble like leaves in a storm. Hands that had learned to be gentle with damaged bodies, patient with frustrated minds, firm when people wanted to give up.
What would those hands feel like on Gage's skin again?
The thought came unbidden and I shoved it away, along with all the other dangerous thoughts that were trying to surface. This was about helping him heal, nothing more. I was a professional. I could handle this.
But even as I told myself that, I was already remembering the last time I'd seen him. The night he'd found me at the swimming hole, his face ravaged with guilt and pain. The way he'd kissed me like he was drowning and I was his only source of air. The way he'd whispered that he loved me, that I was "the one," right before he told me he was leaving forever.
I'd never kissed anyone else the way I'd kissed him that night. Never felt that sense of coming home, of being exactly where I belonged. Eleven years later, and I still compared every relationship to what I'd had with Gage Farrington when we were fifteen years old and thought we had forever.
Maybe that had been my mistake. Maybe I'd been holding onto something that was never meant to last, measuring every man against a memory that had been more fantasy than reality.
Or maybe I'd just never stopped loving him.
The thought settled in my chest like a stone, heavy and unavoidable. I'd dated over the years that followed. Good men. Decent men. Men who called when they said they would and didn't disappear in the middle of the night. But none of themhad ever made me feel the way Gage had. None of them had ever made me believe in forever.
"Bring him home, Xander," I whispered to the empty room. "We'll help him become whole again."
Even if it killed me.
Even if seeing him broke my heart all over again.
Because that's what you did for family. Even the family that left you behind. Even the family that you'd never quite learned how to stop loving.
Chapter 1
Billie
Two weeks had passed since Xander's call, and I still felt like I was walking around with my heart on the outside of my chest, vulnerable to every sharp edge the world might throw at it.
I stood at the window of my office at the rehabilitation center, watching the clock on my desk tick closer to three o'clock. Xander's truck would pull into the ranch any minute now, carrying the one person I'd never quite learned how to stop loving. The one person who'd left me with nothing but a letter and a lifetime of questions.
The rehab center was quiet this afternoon. My last patient had finished their session an hour ago, and I'd sent everyone else home early. I'd told myself it was because I had treatment plans to finalize, equipment to check, professional boundaries to reinforce in my own mind. But the truth was, I'd wanted to be alone when he arrived. I'd wanted the option to fall apart in private if I needed to.
And God, I might need to.
I'd read Gage's letter so many times over the past two weeks that I could recite it from memory, not that I couldn't before. Every word of love and regret and self-loathing. Every promise that leaving was the only way to protect me from whatever darkness he carried inside him.
You were always too good for me. You still are.
The words echoed in my mind as I paced from the window to my treatment table and back again, unable to settle anywhere. He'd been wrong about that. I wasn't too good for anyone. I was just a small-town girl who'd fallen in love with her best friend and never quite figured out how to fall out of it.
My phone buzzed with a text from Delaney.
How are you holding up? We're all thinking about you today.
I smiled despite my nerves. The Farrington family's chosen family network was one of the best things about coming back to Willowbrook. When one of them hurt, they all rallied around. When one of them needed support, the rest showed up without being asked.
I went to text back fine, then immediately deleted it.
Nervous as hell, but I'll be okay.
