Page 75 of Brewbies
Ethan was going to be sick. Just barf up his BLT-with-olive-oil-mayo lunch all over her potted petunias.
Mostly because she’d just wrapped her leg around the guy’s shoulders to lift into another pose.
My shoulders,his inner caveman protested.Only my shoulders go between her thighs.
To add insult to injury, Darby crawled up his body, and they shared a look of fondness that sent Ethan rearing backward, knocking something from the discarded pile in a box on her steps. Acting quickly, he caught it before it shattered on the ground. A small fishbowl decorated with stickers of several pairs of breasts and writing that said:Just put in the tip, see how it feels.
Her gratuity jar.
Discarding it with a grimace, he rubbed his hands on his shirt and went back to watching the torture porn.
Only to shrink back around the corner as Vee returned with her gnarled fingers wrapped around four drinks.
Better for all involved if he stopped trying to watch.
“I hoped I didn’t miss the opening ceremonies while keeping Ethan busy,” Vee said.
“Nope,” Myrtle said after a loud smooch. “We’re lucky they’re just warming up still. Probably got about an hour. That what you’re wearing?”
“Why, you don’t like it?” Vee asked. Ethan could no longer see the group without being discovered, but he could hear the dismay beneath the brusque British accent.
“No!” Myrtle squawked two octaves too high. “No. You look…um…festive! Downright stunning, I’d say. Couldn’t lose you in a crowd…even if we wanted to.” Apparently, Myrtle worked in bullshit, as well as the regular stuff, and agreed with Ethan’s estimation of Vee’s questionable couture. “Speaking of, I saw the sheriff pull up. He’s around here somewhere, but there’s no brakes on this train now!”
“Had he not been summoned here by a deputy, I might have kept him in the store a while longer,” Vee lamented.
“Solid gold sex toys,” Myrtle marveled. “I couldn’t even bring myself to touch one before I stashed them in the old cupboard where I keep the magic mushrooms. Too fancy for my blood. Sheriff’ll never think to look there, and we’ll ‘find’ them in a few days.”
“He didn’t seem like he wanted to look for them at all,” Vee groused. “I was certain to make him categorically aware of the expense. Granted, it’s harder to cry wolf these days when everyone has so many cameras everywhere… Just as easy to prove something didn’t happen as to prove it did.”
Ethan scrubbed at his temples for a few moments. One of these days, those biddies were going to be arrested for one of their numerous infractions. So help him, he was sorely tempted. All day,all day, he’d been chasing wild geese, led around by two of the most mischievous boomers alive, who deep-faked a gilded dildo theft to keep him away from a sexy circus.
For fuck’s sake.
“Did he buy anything?” Myrtle asked.
After a pregnant pause, every single woman dissolved into a fit of giggles.
“OMG, can you imagine?” Cady snorted. “Did he even know what wasinthere?”
“I’d say not, judging by the several colors he turned when he took a glance at the wall of wankers,” said Vee. “I’ve never seen a grown man blush that color.”
Well, if they found him now, she would see the color twice in one day.
“I’d have paid money to witness that.” Gemma’s laugh-warmed voice still sounded somewhat distracted. “He’s just such a… Well, I don’t know the word for it, but it’d be like taking your grandpa into a sex shop.”
Ethan grimaced.Ouch.
Myrtle cleared her throat. “Well he’s a…you know…” Her voice dropped off ominously.
No, he didn’t fucking know.
“A what?” Cady prompted.
Long pause.
“A pervert?” Gemma guessed.
Hey!
