Page 101 of All I Want for Christmas… Is You
“It wasn’t a brawl, then?” Dinah was rather ashamed at having given Oliver so little credit, and she couldn’t quite meet his eyes.
“Oh, it was a brawl, and rather an ugly one, but not nearly as ugly as Erskine’s mother and four sisters being tossed onto the streets because their brother wagered away every penny of his fortune.”
Dinah opened her mouth, then closed it again.
“Do you have any other objections to a marriage between us?” he asked politely, as if he were enquiring about the weather. “If so, let’s have them out now, shall we?”
Dinahdidhave further objections. Dozens of them, the principal one being he’d be far happier with a sweet, proper young lady as his wife, someone respectable he’d be proud to introduce to his friends. Someone like—
“Miss Spence!” Dinah blurted. “You can’t marry me because you’re going to marry Miss Spence. Indeed, the sooner we arrive at Cliff’s Edge the sooner you can get on with the business of falling in love with her and marrying her.”
Oliver’s jaw dropped open. “Miss Spence? Who thedevilis Miss Spence?”
Dinah bit her lip. She and Penelope had agreed it would be best if Dinah didn’t mention Miss Spence to Oliver, it being preferable for the thing to come about naturally. She hadn’t had much choice, given the circumstances, but perhaps she shouldn’t have announced it quite so clumsily.
When she didn’t reply Oliver leaned forward in his seat, his eyes narrowed. “Well, Dinah? Who is she, and why am I meant to be marrying a lady I’ve never met?”
“You have met her. Caroline Spence. From what I understand, she was at the house party last year at Cliff’s Edge. Penelope said she’s fair-haired with brown eyes, and that you admired her. Miss Spence is a respectable, proper young lady, and so Penelope thought—”
“She thought I’dmarryher?” Oliver laughed. “I don’t like to disappoint my sister-in-law, but I’m afraid that’s out of the question. Whatever admiration I may once have felt for Caroline Spence must have been fleeting, because I don’t even remember her.”
“But if you only met her again, you’d—”
“No. I’m sure she’s a lovely young lady, but my affections lay elsewhere, and I won’t marry a lady I don’t love.”
Love.
That last word fell between them with a thud. Dinah stared at him, her heart crowding into her throat. No, it couldn’t be. Surely, he wasn’t saying he loved…her?
But the look on his face as gazed at her, the softness in his blue eyes said more than his words ever could. Denials rushed to Dinah’s lips—argument and pleas—but she didn’t speak them. She could only sit there, dread raising a chill on her skin.
Oliver knew just whathewanted to say, however. It was as if he’d imagined this moment many times in his head. “This is a courtship, Dinah.” He waved a hand around to indicate the coach.
Dinah stared blankly at him. “W-what is?”
“Our journey together from London to Cliff’s Edge. I realize it’s a bit unconventional as courtships go, but you’ve refused to see me these four weeks and more. I had no other choice than to take drastic measures.”
“Why should you want to court me?” Dinah asked, then winced at the stupidity of the question. Sheknewwhy. But understanding a thing in her head was not the same thing as believing it in her heart.
Oliver gave her a crooked smile. “For the same reason most gentlemen wish to court a lady. Because I want to marry you, Dinah.”
Dinah shook her head. Perhaps he thought he didnow, but it wouldn’t last. “You don’t want to marry me, Oliver.”
“I do. I’ve wanted to marry you since you fired a pistol at me.” Oliver took her hand. “I’m in love with you, Dinah. I’ve been in love with you since the first moment I saw you, and I believe you’re in love with me.”
Dinah gaped at him.How could he imagineshe, with her icy cold heart—she, who didn’t love anything or anyone—could be in love with him? “You’re wrong. I don’t love you. That is, I do care for you, but as my friend, not my...”
What? Her husband, or her lover?
No, no, no. She was not saying the wordloverto Oliver Angel. Even speaking the word aloud acknowledged it to be a possibility, and that was dangerous. She snatched her hand free of Oliver’s grip. “I’m sorry, Oliver, but I can’t marry you.”
“I know you’re afraid, but you don’t need to be.” Oliver reached for her hand again and pressed it to his chest, over his heart. “You don’t have to say you love me back. Not until you’re ready, and if you never are, well, that’s all right, too. I have enough love for both of us.”
Dinah snatched her hand away, but not before she felt his heartbeat against her palm, swift and strong, pounding with love wasted on a lady who could never return it—a lady who could never love anyone.
Not him, and not herself.
Pain sliced through her, so terrible she lost her breath, and the anger buried underneath the hurt swelled against her ribs. Why was he putting them through this? Why was he making her refuse him so cruelly? “I’m not afraid of anything. I don’t love you, and I never can.”
