Page 63 of Courting Trouble
Nora allowed guilt to pull her gaze down to where their knees almost touched. “Mercy says a lot of things.”
“And your father, he said he deserved my anger…why?”
A little tremor coursed through her. She’d promised herself to never burden him with this truth, but perhaps she’d been mistaken. “I think… you know why.”
“I want to hear it from you.”
Nora collapsed back on the seat, letting her head fall against the damask velvet as she affixed her stare somewhere above his unruly hair. “I married William all those years ago because…Papa threatened you if I didn’t.”
His fists curled on his thighs, and his every muscle bunched, but Nora forced herself to continue.
“He vowed that he’d make certain no school would accept you and no household would employ you. That he might have you thrown in prison or worse. He went so far as to threaten to put me in an institution, as well. It all seemed so hopeless, and you had such dreams, such ambition and promise. I—I loved you too much to condemn you to that. I didn’t think sacrificing a girl you’d only been attached to for three months would be so bad as losing everything you ever—”
“Three months,” he echoed, the syllables drawn out carefully as he leaned forward. “Three months?Youonly lovedmefor three months. I loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you.”
That snapped her gaze back to his solemn features. “Impossible. You were ten when we met.”
“And you were the dream I didn’t dare to allow myself to hope for, even then.”
Defeat followed quickly on the elation he’d evoked with those words. Nora dropped her head in her hands and hid, so she didn’t have to look at the mess she’d made of everything. “And now…I’m a nightmare.”
His knees hit the floor of the carriage, and he reached for her wrists. Pulling her hands away from her eyes, he slid his fingers over her jaw until he held her face cupped in his palms. He looked down at her as if she were a revelation, his gaze suddenly tender, though his features remained taut with an agonizing emotion. “My entire life I’ve been certain that I loved you considerably more than you would ever love me, and I’d made my peace with that. But… God, Nora, if I’d only known—”
Those two words.If only. They’d driven her mad before.
She shook her head, new tears sliding down her burning cheeks and landing in his palms. “Idiedthe day you left. I’ve done so many things in my life I regret, but hurting you that night has always been my most egregious sin. I never even cared if my subsequent actions doomed me to hell, because hell is living in a world where you were close and yet impossible to reach. And now I fear that even with all I’ve been through, nothing’s changed. I am still ruined.”
“Not to me.” His grip tightened, his thumb silencing her as he traced the outline of her lips. “Listen, Nora. I am merely a doctor, but as you see, I have powerful friends. Your father couldn’twishto have a circle of influence like mine. The Chief Inspector. Dorian Blackwell and his wife, the Countess Northwalk. The Duke and Duchess of Trenwyth. The Earl and Countess of Southbourne… I could go on—”
“Don’t you understand,” she interrupted. “These are the people I could drive away with the scandal attached to my name.”
To her utter astonishment, a rumble of mirth vibrated from him. “You don’t know these people, but you will. And they’ll support you. They’ll dare the rest of thetonto shame you. And even if they did, Nora, we’d keep other society. This is a whole wide city full of people. Hang everyone but you and me.”
For some humiliating reason, this only made her weep harder.
He thumbed away her tears, only to have them replaced with new ones. “You said something to me that has been weighing on my conscience…”
“What’s that?” she sniffed, trying to regain control of herself.
“That you don’t know who you are. That you don’t feel that you are deserving, butIknow you, Nora. Every man in your life has made you feel unworthy but, darling, you are kind and self-sacrificing. You’ve always made yourself responsible for others in your care. Your family, your bastard of a husband, your sisters. I could lift that burden from you. I could care for you, so that you might turn your kindness elsewhere. You can find whatever purpose suits you. And I’ll be right beside you, if you’ll let me.”
Overwhelmed, Nora gripped his arms, intent upon pulling him away, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Not when he was right in front of her, kneeling between her knees, saying the words that filled the empty well of her soul. “I…don’t—I can’t believe this is happening.”
“Why not?”
“Because every time I’ve dared myself to hope, it’s been ripped from me… and I allowed it. I facilitated it. When I think of the time we’ve lost, of all the things I could have said and done differently…” She laid her palms on his chest, searching for the thrum of his heart and finding it there, strong and steady. “I realize it was irresponsible to come for the gold, but I wanted to dosomethingto fix what I’d broken. I was desperate and reckless…”
He broke her words off with a searing kiss, his lips a warm and reassuring pressure against hers, parting her lips so she could taste the salt of her tears. He kept the kiss gentle and voluptuous, his tongue slick and soft against hers, making no demands. Asking nothing. Just offering. Coaxing.
He pulled back before the kiss could deepen any further, though the pace of his heart had quickened beneath her palm.
“God, I love you,” he breathed against her mouth, the hands bracketing her face roaming to cup her head and smooth down her neck. “I didn’t need a grand gesture or a crate of gold any more than you need ask my forgiveness. I’m not angry, I should never have been angry. Medicine is my calling, butyouare my life. Nora.” He kissed her temples, “Nora…” her eyelids and brow, “my lovely Nora.” He smoothed his lips over her cheek until he returned to her mouth. “You are the greatest treasure. The sparkle beneath a grey sky. You are the beauty no one else can compare to.”
“How blind you are,” she said wryly, expecting any moment to wake from a dream.
He pulled back to spear her with a look full of so much affection, she nearly expired from the dizzy optimism it evoked. “I can only see you. Here. Right in front of me. We decide our futures now. You and I. Nora, will you marry me?”
She gripped his shoulders, suddenly frantic. “Yes. Today.Rightnow. Before anything happens to stop it.”
